Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and forty. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

There is a certain allure to sticking to what we’re good at – after all, who doesn’t like the feeling of being competent and in control? But here’s the thing: if you keep doing only what you’re good at, you’re not challenging yourself. You’re simply staying in your comfort zone where everything is safe and predictable. While it might feel like you’re making progress, the truth is you’re really just spinning your wheels. Real growth doesn’t happen in the safety of routine; it happens when you step into the unknown, where mistakes and failures are likely, but so is the opportunity for real transformation.

In this episode, we delve into the value of putting yourself to the test, discovering what you’re truly capable of, and using that to build the kind of self-confidence that can’t easily be shaken. When you take on challenges that push you beyond your comfort zone, you’re forced to rely on abilities that you may not even know you have, and in the process, you develop a deeper trust in yourself. It’s not easy, and it’s definitely not always comfortable, but that’s precisely why it works so well. It’s in those moments of uncertainty and struggle that you uncover your true potential and lay the groundwork for your future success. 

Have you noticed how we can get really good at something, feel like we’ve mastered it, and then – boom – we’re stuck? I mean, doing the same thing over and over again, even if you’re awesome at it, gets you exactly nowhere when it comes to growth. Sure, being the go-to expert in your niche has its perks, but if that’s all you do, you’re not really challenging yourself. And if you’re not challenging yourself, you’re just coasting along on autopilot and that’s not fun. 

There is power in putting yourself to the test, of actually seeing what you’re made of. And, it’s not as scary as you might think. When you stick to what you’re already good at, you’re playing it safe. And while safe is nice and cozy, it’s also the surest way to stagnate in your career. The thing about comfort zones is they’re incredibly sneaky. They make you feel like you’re progressing because you’re doing something productive. But in reality, you’re just spinning your wheels. It’s like being on a treadmill: you’re putting in the effort to move forward, but you’re not getting anywhere. 

Now, imagine this scenario: you’re great at your job and your boss knows it. So, they keep you in that role because, well, you’re reliable, consistently delivering results. It’s flattering, right? But here’s the catch: if you keep doing the same thing, how will you ever know what else you’re capable of? More importantly, how will anyone else know? The power in exploring new things lies in discovering what you’re really made of – not just what someone else has decided is your limit. 

How often have you accepted what someone else thought you should be doing? It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting others dictate your career path because it feels secure. But here’s the thing – security can be a double-edged sword. It can protect you from risks, but it can also shield you from opportunities. The real question is, are you okay with that? Are you okay with someone else deciding what you get to do? Or, are you ready to take back control and see just how far you can go?

Stepping outside your comfort zone isn’t just about trying something new for the sake of it. It’s about pushing boundaries to better understand your true capabilities. When you push yourself to do something unfamiliar, you’re forced to rely on different skills, think in new ways, and yes, sometimes even fail. But guess what? That’s where the magic happens. It’s in those moments of uncertainty and struggle that you discover your potential.

I’m not going to lie, stepping into the unknown can be terrifying. There’s a reason why most people prefer to stay in their lane – it’s safer there. But if you’re serious about personal and professional growth, you’ve got to be willing to embrace that discomfort. It’s not about being reckless; it’s about being strategic in the risks you’re willing to take. It’s about understanding that every time you push a boundary, you’re expanding your limits, and with that comes the discovery of new talents, skills, and most importantly, confidence. 

Nothing builds self-confidence like proving to yourself that you can do something you never thought possible. Each new challenge you take on has the potential to build your confidence. And, before you know it, you become unstoppable. It’s not just about the skills you gain; it’s about the belief in yourself that comes from knowing you faced something difficult and come out stronger on the other side.

But, we all know that with the industry we’re in, there will be barriers. Every step you take outside of your comfort zone will come with its own set of challenges, especially when it comes to advancing your STEM career, especially if that upsets the status quo. Maybe it’s a lack of opportunities, maybe it’s systemic or organizational barriers, or maybe it’s the naysayers who tell you it can’t be done. Whatever it is, it’s there and it’s real. But, those barriers don’t have to stop you. In fact, they can be the very thing that propels you forward. 

Reclaiming your power over the trajectory of your career means recognizing that those barriers, while real, are not insurmountable. It means understanding that you have a choice: you can either let those barriers define you, or you can choose to push through them. And, pushing through them often means trying something new, something that challenges the status quo, and something that forces you to grow in ways you never imagined. 

When you take control of your career by exploring new avenues and challenging yourself, you’re creating new opportunities for yourself where none existed before. And the best part? You’re showing everyone else that you’re not just someone who can do what’s expected of you; you’re someone who regularly exceeds expectations. 

So, what does it look like to push yourself? It looks like taking on that project that scares you because it’s so far outside your wheelhouse you’re not even sure where to start. It looks like speaking up in meetings where you normally stay silent because you don’t want to rock the boat. It looks like asking for that promotion even though you’re not sure you’re fully qualified – because you know you’ll figure it out as you go along.

No one is going to hand you these opportunities on a silver platter. You’ve got to go out there and find them. But that’s what makes it worth it. When you push yourself, when you explore new things and challenge your limits, you’re not just discovering what you’re capable of – you’re taking control of your career and your life. 

Unfortunately, staying in that comfort zone doesn’t just keep us safe; it keeps us stuck. It’s where we can do our thing with our eyes closed and still get that pat on the back for doing a great job. Doing more of what you’re already good at might make you feel like you’re accomplishing something, but it’s not leading you anywhere new. And that’s a problem if you’ve got big dreams and bigger ambitions. 

Most of us are hesitant to try new things. Why? Because new things are scary. They’re full of unknowns, potential failures, and – let’s face it – opportunities to look foolish. But, if you’re serious about growth, about reaching that next level in your career, you’ve got to push past that hesitation. Because doing more of what you’re already good at doesn’t lead to the career success you’re hoping for. It just leads to more of the same. And while consistency is nice, it’s not exactly the stuff dreams are made of.

There’s a direct correlation between challenging yourself and building your confidence. It’s a bit of a paradox, isn’t it? The very thing that terrifies us, trying something new, is also the thing that builds us up. When you challenge yourself, you’re forced to step into the unknown, to rely on skills you haven’t fully developed, and to face the possibility of failure. But, guess what happens when you do that? You grow. And with that growth comes confidence. 

Confidence isn’t something you can fake. Sure, you can put on a brave face and pretend you’ve got it all together, but deep down, you know the truth. Real confidence comes from knowing you’ve faced something difficult, pushed through the fear, and come out the other side stronger and more capable. It’s like a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it gets. But, if you’re not challenging yourself, that confidence you’re trying so hard to build is just going to wither away.

So, here’s where the necessity for exploring and experimenting with new skills comes in. You’ve got your eye on that shiny new role, the one that’s just out of reach. You know you’re capable, but there’s a catch – you don’t yet have all the skills required for it. So, what do you do? You could sit back and hope someone notices your potential and takes a chance on you. Or, you could take matters into your own hands and start building those skills yourself.

But, building new skills takes effort and it’s most likely going to be uncomfortable. You’re going to have to step into a new role not feeling like you’re fully prepared. You might need to take on projects that stretch your current abilities. But each time you do, you’re not just gaining new skills, you’re building your confidence. You’re proving to yourself (and everyone else) that you’ve got what it takes to grow in that new role.

But, let’s not ignore the reality of societal and workplace barriers that contribute to our self-doubt and struggle to build confidence. There are four big barriers that come to mind: 

1. Imposter Syndrome: My guess is you know this one well. It’s that nagging voice that tells you you’re a fraud, that you really don’t deserve your success, and that it’s only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out. Imposter syndrome is pervasive, especially among high achievers. It’s like the universe’s cruel joke – just when you start to succeed, your brain decides to mess with you. But, the more you challenge yourself, the quieter that voice becomes. Why? Because every new challenge you conquer is proof that you do belong, that you do deserve your success, and that you’re not an imposter after all. 
2. Double Standards: In many workplaces, women are expected to be perfect – always prepared, always professional, and never making mistakes. Meanwhile, men are often given more leeway to experiment, fail, and learn from their mistakes. It’s an unfair double standard that can make most women hesitant to take risks or try new things. But, you can’t let those double standards hold you back. If you wait for permission to take risks, you’ll be waiting forever. You’ve got to create your own opportunities and push past the fear of making mistakes. 
3. Perfectionism Paradox: Another barrier that holds us back is our own perfectionism. It’s the belief that if we can’t do it perfectly, we shouldn’t do it at all. But perfectionism is just fear; it’s also a way of avoiding the discomfort of trying something new and potentially failing. The problem is, if you’re waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect conditions, or the perfect skillset, you’ll never take that first step. And without that first step, you’ll never build the confidence you need to succeed.
4. Glass Ceiling: It’s that invisible barrier that keeps women from reaching the highest levels of leadership, no matter how qualified or capable they are. The glass ceiling is real, and it’s frustrating, but it’s not unbreakable. Every time you challenge yourself, every time you push past your comfort zone and build your confidence, you’re chipping away at that glass ceiling. It’s a slow process, but it’s one that’s worth the effort.

So, where does this leave us? If you want to grow, if you want to reach new heights in your career, you’ve got to be willing to explore and experiment with new things. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s also necessary. Doing more of what you’re already good at might make you feel productive, but it’s not going to get you where you want to go. You’ve got to challenge yourself, build new skills, and push past the barriers that hold you back.

If you’re serious about growing, about truly seeing what you’re made of, you’ve got to be willing to experiment, fail, and most importantly, learn. So, here are five tips that will help you build that self-confidence in a way that’s grounded in reality, not just wishful thinking: 

1. Learn by Doing: Gaining knowledge reduces fear so learn from others and through hands-on experience to build your confidence. 
2. Embrace the Challenge: Take on tough projects and do whatever it takes to succeed because growth happens when you’re tested. 
3. Borrow the Belief: Lean on the confidence others have in you and trust their belief in your potential until you can build your own belief in yourself. 
4. Keep your Promises: Honoring your commitments, especially to yourself, proves you’re capable of achieving difficult goals. 
5. Teach to Master: Sharing what you’ve learned with others solidifies your expertise and reinforces your confidence.

Fear often creeps in when we’re faced with the unknown. The best antidote? Knowledge. The more you know, the less you’ll fear. Reading books and taking classes are great, but they’re not enough. You’ve got to get out there and actually do the thing. 

If you want to build your self-confidence, you’ve got to accept challenging projects – ones that make you sweat a little, maybe even lose a little sleep. The kind that makes you wonder if you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. Why? Because these are the projects that push you to your limits and show you what you’re really capable of. 

But we all have those moments of self-doubt when we wonder if we’re really cut out for the task at hand. But, if someone else believes in you, let that be enough – at least for now. Lean on their confidence in you until you can build your own. Use that borrowed belief to push through the doubt, to take that next step to keep going. Eventually, you’ll realize that you don’t need to borrow anyone’s belief. That’s when you know you’ve got plenty of your own. 

We’ve all made promises to ourselves that we didn’t keep. But, beware. Every time you break a promise to yourself, you chip away at your self-confidence. On the other hand, every time you keep a commitment to yourself, you’re building it back up. It’s not just about the task itself; it’s about proving to yourself that you’re capable of following through, of accomplishing hard things. So, the next time you make a commitment, whether it’s big or small, keep it. Your future self-confidence depends on it. 

So, you’ve learned new skills, taken on challenging projects, and built up your confidence. Now what? Now you share what you’ve learned with others. Teaching isn’t just about helping someone else (though that’s important too); it’s about reinforcing your own mastery. When you teach someone else, you’re reinforcing what you’ve learned. And, there’s something incredibly empowering about being the one who others turn to for guidance. It’s a real confidence boost. 

One thing people often don’t realize about exploring and experimenting with new things is that the process of pushing beyond our comfort zone actually rewires your brain to handle uncertainty and fear more effectively. Each time you step into the unknown, your brain becomes more resilient and adaptable. This not only makes future challenges less daunting, but also enhances your ability to think creatively, solve problems, and innovate. So, it’s not just your confidence that grows with each new experience – it’s your entire capacity to handle whatever life throws at you. 

In the end, staying in your comfort zone might keep you safe, but it will also keep you small. If you want to see what you’re really made of, you’ve got to be willing to step into the unknown, face the barriers head-on, and keep pushing forward. Because that’s where the real growth happens. That’s where you discover your true potential and that’s where you reclaim your power. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Boosting Your Confidence at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and forty.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.