Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode eighteen. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

We can do hard things. Creating extraordinary success is hard. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it, and then it wouldn’t be extraordinary would it? If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t matter. That’s the reason we do it. So let it be hard. Plan on it being hard. And enjoy that it is hard, and uncomfortable, and frustrating, and overwhelming because that’s part of what makes it worth doing. 

In this episode, we’re going to talk about your beliefs and the importance of believing that not only is it possible, but it’s possible for you. So you need to believe in yourself. That might require you to revise or upgrade your beliefs to unlock the possibilities. 

Believe it’s possible. When we do hard things, we get stronger. And when we do hard things, we show ourselves what we’re capable of. The discomfort of doing hard things is the currency we pay for the success we ultimately get.

If you don’t want to do something because it seems hard, that’s a good sign. That’s when you should get excited. It’s when you have to do it, because it will be scary and challenging. It’s the challenge that makes it exciting. If something makes you feel sick, keep going. That’s when you know you’re doing it right. 

Everyone who has achieved extraordinary success, without exception, has originally said that it was too difficult, if not impossible. We tend to want to explain why we can’t do something. We argue for our limitations. We make our case. We gather the proof. But the trick is to do it anyway. Hard is not a reason to not do something. It’s the exact reason to do it. So keep going. Keep doing hard things. Keep showing up and keep working at it.

When you keep doing hard things for all the right reasons, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. It will change your mind about what you’re capable of. You get stronger and you get better at doing hard things, because doing hard things makes you stronger. 

Doing hard things is the only way to accomplish those audacious goals. We have to go completely against our brain’s conditioning and we have to go against our own fear. Anyone who tells you that this isn’t hard, hasn’t done it. 

Hang out with people who are doing hard things too. Which is completely different than hanging out with the people who complain about things being hard. Complaining is easy. It’s the doing that’s hard. 

Spend time with people who are proud of the work they’re doing each and every day, even if they have nothing to show for it. These are the people who are going where you want to go, and becoming the kind of people you want to become. 

It comes down to the difference between knowing what to do and doing it. You can’t just know it intellectually. I’ve tried thinking my way through things because the doing part was uncomfortable. It just doesn’t work. So believe in the possibility and start taking action. That way you’ll start to produce consistent results, no matter what is going on in our lives and the world around us. 

Our thinking can be beneficial. We tend to experience positive results: happiness, personal satisfaction, and material success. But when our thinking is counterproductive, we tend to experience negative results: unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and feeling like the world is against us. When we focus on belief improvement, often our circumstances seem to improve as well. 

Our belief shapes our reality. That’s the power of beliefs. Then we experience what we expect to have happen and our expectations shape what we believe is possible and they also shape our outcomes. And therefore, they helped shape our reality. 

Many of us have the skill to do amazing things, but we lack the belief that we can pull it off. One of the biggest reasons we don’t succeed with our goals is that we doubt that we can. We tend to believe they are out of reach, maybe possible for some, but not for us. And the greater number of setbacks we’ve experienced in life, the less likely we are to believe that we can prevail.

Doubt is a goal toxin. It kills more dreams than anything else. We try to shield ourselves from future disappointment, by developing a cynical, self-protective attitude toward life. Our limiting beliefs keep us stuck in that self protection mode. It’s hard to get your hopes dashed if you never get them up to begin with. And cynicism poisons our minds, and sabotages our results.

Our beliefs about what is possible can have a direct impact on the reality we experience. So we need to work on changing our belief of what is possible. And what’s that disclaimer, “past performance isn’t indicative of future results”? Well, unless of course your belief leads you to act like it does. Because when you’re not thinking that an outcome is inevitable, you’re not thinking about strategies to try to make it happen. So by changing your belief, you’re able to change what you’re willing to do, and ultimately the results you will achieve. 

It’s human nature to think that it can’t be done until somebody comes along and does it. The impossible only seems impossible on the front end. I’ve heard it said that is a failure of imagination. The key difference between an unmet goal and a personal success is the belief that it can be achieved. So believe in yourself. 

Some beliefs hold you back. To accomplish anything, we have to believe we’re up to the challenge. It doesn’t mean it will be easy. And we may not know how we’re to accomplish it, and usually we don’t, but we have to believe we’re capable, and that we have what it takes to prevail. 

Every goal has obstacles. Some people have trouble overcoming these barriers because they doubt that they have what it takes. These are the scarcity thinkers. Some people are confident they’ll prevail, if they just work harder and come at the problem from a different direction. These are the abundance thinkers. When they encounter an obstacle, they just look for a new approach to the problem. They know there’s a workaround or a solution. If they just keep working at it, they’ll find it. Scarcity thinking leads to failure, fear, and discontent. While abundance thinking leads to success, joy, and fulfillment. It all comes down to our limiting beliefs versus our empowering beliefs. 

And there’s three kinds of limiting beliefs. We have some about the world. We have some about others, and we have the most about ourselves. And we can learn to question them or even dismiss them. They limit our freedom and our motivation to act. They aren’t necessarily true, but we let them influence us as if they were. They can be a very deep seated belief. And although they seem pretty accurate, they aren’t always reality. They’re often false or half-truths at best. And they can block any progress that you want to make in life, if you let them. So revise your beliefs.

There’s four ways to identify whether you’re falling into the trap of limiting beliefs. The first is black and white thinking, where we assume we’ve failed if we don’t achieve perfection. The reality is usually more of a sliding scale, not a toggle switch. Number two is blaming ourselves for the random negative occurrences that are probably out of our control. And number three, assuming the worst, even when there’s little evidence that it will actually happen. And number four, universalizing. That’s where we take a bad experience and assume that it’s true across the board. Some of our limiting beliefs come from previous failures or setbacks because repeated setbacks can train us to assume the worst and do what we can to avoid those risks. 

Unless you have rock solid self-esteem, or you’re impervious to jealousy, or have an extraordinary capacity to remind yourself everyone is bragging, it’s difficult not to compare ourselves to others and come up short. Then we feel terrible about our lives. We often pick up these beliefs in childhood and they become part of our core narrative. 

Some core narratives are not good or helpful. Or we may pick up these limiting beliefs later in life, maybe during university or at the office. Regardless of when or where we acquire them, they create the lens through which we see the world. 

There’s no reason to let limiting beliefs hold us back any longer. So cultivate a sense of possibility. What’s not in your world right now that could be? What’s lacking, that only you can remedy, in your relationships, your health, or your career? Recognize that most of the barriers we face are imaginary.

We get to choose what we’re going to believe. And the best way to overcome limiting beliefs is to replace them with more empowering thoughts. So upgrade your beliefs to unlock possibility. 

Limiting beliefs are a widely held misunderstanding, disguised as common sense. It’s a misunderstanding of the present that shortchanges our future. We can look at the same facts as everyone else, but we’re using a different frame of reference. 

We can allow ourselves to see a better future and visualize accomplishment and know that someday you’ll realize it as well. It frees you to act, not only with determination, but also with enthusiasm. That can make all the difference in the world for us. Make the effort to change your thinking, and eventually you realize that you’re right.

The more you’re able to believe it, the more you’re able to act on it, make it happen and prove it to yourself. This new belief enables you to be vulnerable, hopeful, and act with confidence. You can choose to operate from a place of abundance. It’s not magic. Although, when it all comes together, it does feel rather magical. 

The more you move forward, the more resources you’ll find to aid in your pursuit of your goals. And before long, your reality will catch up with your beliefs. So it’s changing your beliefs that makes better outcomes possible. You already have what it takes to move the needle in your life. 

Everyone is different, and we all have a portfolio of our limiting beliefs, but there’s two that many of us share:  we think we have no power to change our circumstances, and we think we lack the resources to do so. When we feel powerless, recognize that we all have more power than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. 

Our power helps us to achieve our goals. First, through intention. We can imagine a better reality than the one we’re currently experiencing. Number two, forethought. We can govern our behavior in the present and give purpose and meaning to our actions. And number three, taking action. We have the ability to act on our plans, to stay motivated, and to respond in the moment to stay on track. And number four, self-reflection. We can evaluate how we’re doing and make adjustments and even revise our plans. Whatever our circumstances, we have the power to create a better future for ourselves. But some don’t buy into it. They think that because they can’t control everything, they control nothing. But that’s also a limiting belief. By our choices, we become active participants in the outcomes we experience. 

Resources are never the main challenge in achieving goals. If you already have everything you need to achieve your goal, then your goal is probably too small. The more determined you are, the more easily the necessary resources will appear. Determination is the difference maker. 

Resources are necessary, but they’re never a precondition for success. Our perceived lack of resources is often a benefit in disguise. Because dealing with constraints can trigger a cascade of unforeseen rewards and creativity, because they force us to rise to the occasion and give our best to try to accomplish our goals.

Easily obtained resources make for weak performance because there’s not much of a challenge. Limitations are often needed to release our creativity and creativity is our ultimate resource. Lack of resources spurs resourcefulness, builds resilience, and confidence. The more times we overcome difficulties, the more capable we are of overcoming whatever comes next. 

An apparent lack of resources might be the most important resource we have, but our limiting beliefs keep us from seeing that. If your goal is big enough, it will probably require more and different resources than you might assume when you start. But start anyway. 

Lack of resources is never a good excuse to stay put. Treat it instead as a prompt for what to tackle as the next step towards your goal. Revise your beliefs. You don’t have to be hemmed in by your limiting beliefs.

Here’s a six step process for exchanging limiting beliefs for more empowering thoughts:

First, identify that limiting belief. No matter how true it seems, it’s important to recognize that it’s just an opinion about reality and it probably reflects black and white thinking. 

Number two, write it down. Is it that you don’t have enough experience, or you don’t have the right experience, or maybe you’re not very disciplined, or terrible with technology, or not creative? It could be anything. We all have our own challenges. It’s not whatever you’re saying it is. It’s your belief about it. So write it down, word for word. By writing it down, you’re externalizing it, and then you’re able to objectively evaluate it. 

Which brings us to number three, evaluate it. Evaluate whether the belief is empowering. Is it enabling you to accomplish the outcomes you want, or is it preventing you from doing so? Confront it. Limiting beliefs tend to give people a sense of certainty, but more than likely, it’s a certainty that it can’t be done. 

Number four, reframe your narrative. Try writing down the opposite of it. Many limiting beliefs have a kernel of truth in them, and that’s what makes them so convincing. But they aren’t the whole truth, and you can change the story you’re telling yourself. 

Number five, make it more empowering. Change your thinking to a new and empowering belief, because the old one is holding you back. 

And number six, get comfortable with the new way of thinking. Start living from this new perspective. It might take some time to fully buy into it and it might feel awkward for a while, but eventually you’ll get more comfortable with it. 

Every time that old belief comes up, reject it, or reframe it as a new empowering belief. You’ll have to keep doing this over and over because for many of us, our limiting beliefs are pretty entrenched. Then start living as if it’s true. The more we do so, the more we bring our experience into alignment with our expectations. You have what it takes, so upgrade your beliefs.

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide for Uncovering Your Limiting Beliefs at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode eighteen. 

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch. I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com. And if you liked the show, please tell a friend, subscribe, rate, and review. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thank you for joining me.