Welcome to The Stop Sabotaging Your Success Podcast, episode thirty-six. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Think about where you were five years ago and consider how much your life has changed in that time. Think about all facets of your life, whether it’s career related, your relationships, or your personal life, because that might give you an idea of just what could be possible for you in the next five years. That’s enough time for your life to change dramatically. 

In this episode, we’re talking about your vision of the future. This is where your imagination comes alive and you can break free of the constraints of reality. This is a vision, not a plan. Therefore, you’re not constrained by the practical or the realistic. 

What is your vision of the future? What will your life be like in five years? 

Your career, home life, money, and health could, and most likely will, change dramatically. But sometimes the how gets in the way of our dreams. Are you willing to suspend disbelief for just a moment?

All that energy and attention you’re giving to how it’s going to happen is completely destroying the experience of what it might be like living in this amazing vision of your future. You’re sabotaging your vision for yourself. We tend to want to keep things practical and realistic by figuring out how it’s going to work, even before we know what it is that we want. We have to be able to accept that this is our vision, not our plan yet. It’s not about rationalizing it or trying to figure out how we’re going to possibly make this happen. Let it simply be a product of the future. 

Trust that we will discover how to make it a reality along the way. It’s first the idea, the dream, the vision, and then the process and creation. Not the other way around.

What is the new vision that you want to create for yourself? If everything from this moment on goes wonderfully, what is your life going to be like? Take some time to create that five year vision for yourself. It’s not a plan or a goal, it’s a vision. It’s a dream. And in a dream, anything can happen, as long as you don’t get bogged down with the how.

The biggest problem that keeps people from succeeding is a lack of belief in themselves. Your mind can deliver everything you want, but first, you have to believe that what you want is possible. Belief is a choice. It’s just a thought you choose to think over and over until it becomes automatic. 

You get what you expect. I guess you could call it the placebo effect. Through a lifetime’s worth of conditioning, our brains learn what to expect next based on our past, not really allowing for change in the future. Our brains expect something will happen in a certain way and then we often achieve exactly what we have anticipated. You have to believe, and that’s not easy. 

For many, the guiding philosophy is that if something is supposed to happen, it will. But most people fail in realizing their vision because they simply don’t believe they can reach it. It’s not a lack of skill or aptitude. Each small victory along the way makes you believe a little bit more that victory is on the horizon. It’s about believing it is possible. 

Sometimes it isn’t what you don’t know that stops your success, it’s what you do know that isn’t actually true. It’s time to learn to be open to new possibilities. That vision you have for yourself is possible. There may be things in the way that you have to overcome, but it still could happen. 

We need to learn the skill of having faith in ourselves and taking one step towards making what we want a reality. That’s what creates self-confidence. Self-confidence is a reflection of the belief in yourself. It’s the belief that you are going to win, despite what it looks like today. It’s the belief that you can do it even when you have no evidence that says you can. It’s having trust in yourself when you don’t know how it’s going to get done, but believing that you can do it. 

How strong is your belief? 

We have to challenge our own belief systems because there’s a difference between who you are and what you do. They’re not the same thing. You can do hard things and accomplishing those things that seemed impossible for you will change who you are. They will have an impact on your identity. 

The beliefs we have about work and money are rooted in what other people think, and sometimes they get passed down from generation to generation. It’s time to question those beliefs. It’s time to believe in you and want more for yourself.

Sometimes we think it will be possible for others, but not for us. Then we turn around and complain about the lack of progress in our careers. It’s time to cultivate the ability to access your confidence that’s already within you. Maybe it’s just a matter of removing some of that programming that’s blocking it. 

Self-confidence means you are willing to experience any emotion, stay with that discomfort, and still believe in yourself so that you can go after your dream. Without actively creating that belief, you stifle your progress. When you have a true belief in yourself and what you can do, you can do anything that you set your mind to. 

Self-confidence and belief must be actively cultivated. What you’re thinking and feeling are creating the result that you’re currently getting in your career. We’re all born with confidence and a willingness to try new things. 

As we get older, that willingness seems to disappear and get replaced with fear. The more of that fear you believe, the more it erodes your self-confidence. It’s time to reclaim that confidence. It can be so empowering and sometimes that’s enough to get you moving in the right direction again. 

There are still going to be some bumps and bruises along the way, but remember there will also be some cheers for what you accomplish in that journey as well. It’s about making room for it all and having the confidence in yourself that you can handle it. It’s that feeling that you can do it that fuels you to take the actions needed to create the success you desire in your career. 

When we worry, we are cultivating that belief that things are not going to work out in our favor. Maybe you’ve bought into the idea that they have all the power and you have none. Do everything you can to stay in that belief that you can accomplish all that you desire. 

Let go of the word “try” because that immediately places doubt on whatever comes after it. It renders what little belief you have null and void. Remember, it’s our feelings that drive our actions. Phrase it more like, “I want this and I’m going to work towards making it happen”. You’ll be way more likely to take the actions necessary to produce the results you want. 

When it’s time to execute on your plans and make your vision a reality, you must be feeling determined and trusting that it will happen for you. It takes a combination of inner thought work and outer actions to create optimal performance and success in your career. 

Your fullest potential far exceeds what you think is possible for you now, so stop limiting yourself. What is your vision for yourself going forward? What’s possible has to start with a single thought. The thought that we can do it has to be in our minds and we have to be actively thinking about it. 

There’s so much possibility in your future. Whatever has happened in the past has no part in what’s going to happen going forward. What is currently impossible for you now just might be possible in your future, if you’re willing to put in the effort and believe that you can do it. 

Impossible is really only temporary. So many people never thought they could be authors, influencers, or even millionaires. It’s not that they tried and failed. The tragedy is they didn’t even consider trying. They didn’t even have one thought about it, so it never happened. If we don’t think about it, we can’t feel it, we can’t do it, and we will never create it. 

There’s a process to believing something new. It starts with changing your thinking from where you are, to a new way of thinking. You have to let go of your current reality and what you know is true, in order to embrace a new reality based on what you now believe is possible for you. Commit to yourself. Make the possibility a proclamation. Start thinking about it on purpose every day. 

You can intentionally adopt a new belief system. Use this to replace whatever limiting beliefs are currently keeping you stuck. It’s natural to be resistant to some new beliefs at first. It’s not easy to change the way we’ve been thinking of ourselves and what we can do. If it were, everyone would already have extraordinary success. So do the work to move the needle toward acceptance and belief. 

It’s going to require you to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. It’s where things get uncomfortable and we’d rather avoid that. It’s really quite a simple process, but it’s always difficult to apply anything new and unfamiliar. 

It requires you to let go of everything you already know and exchange it for something completely new. It also requires that you be open to the fact that you might have been wrong about a lot of things. It’s a necessary part of the process, but certainly not enjoyable, and it can create a bit of an identity crisis. 

Letting go of one belief structure and accepting a new one is much harder and can take more time than you might think. But it will also produce more successes than you ever thought possible. Keep believing in your vision and your dreams when you’d rather forget about all of it and quit. 

Remind yourself of your vision for your life in the future and how important it is to you. It just might give you some inspiration. It might show you how possible it is to do and that you can overcome anything that gets in the way of creating that success. You just might start feeling better. And that’s why we do what we do, because of how we think we’ll feel. 

We tend to put too many limitations on what we think is possible for us. It’s a matter of reprogramming our brains to consider a new reality of what is possible in our lifetimes. There’s what we know is true, and those are the facts. And then there’s what we believe is true, which are just our interpretations and opinions. 

If you don’t believe that your vision is possible for you, you’re going to be constantly sabotaging yourself and holding yourself back. It’s not what you know about your past that creates success, it’s what you’re willing to believe about your future. We have to teach ourselves what is possible.

We don’t know for a fact what is going to happen in our lives. It depends on what we end up doing and believing. Not because we aren’t intelligent or capable, just because none of us has been taught to think about life in a way that increases possibility. The education system is based on what has already happened, what’s been created, and what already exists.

It’s common for people to ask us what we’ve already done and what we’re good at. We tend to start making a list of possible options for our future based on what is already being done in the world. We make decisions based on a very limited idea of life. We go to university, we accept the job offer, and we try to follow the well worn path to career success.

But what if we were to talk about other options? What if we didn’t limit ourselves to current opportunities or the way things have always been done? We’ve all been too concerned about getting into the highest ranked universities, creating a perfect resume, and getting the best jobs because that’s the way it’s always been done by the people who went before us. That’s definitely the message we got when we were growing up. This is what you need to do in order to have a job that affords you to pay your bills without worry. 

They wanted us to have job security and keep us safe. We were never taught that we could dream big, expect big, or play big in life. That really wasn’t an option for them, so why would they suggest such a thing for us? They were never aware of all the possibilities that are now available to us in our lives. Those types of opportunities weren’t given so easily to the women who came before us. 

I invite you to start to think that the opportunities before you are limitless. You don’t have to ask permission or follow a path that requires you to compromise. What if you could simply skip that part? Start doing exactly what you dream of doing, without even giving it a second thought that it won’t be available to you. 

You first have to drown out the messages that we can’t, or we don’t know how, or that we don’t have permission. This requires you to have courageous belief in what isn’t commonly thought or believed. That’s what’s needed to create extraordinary success for yourself. Success that defies the rules and expectations of most women today. 

Imagine if we could be an example of something new, different, and extraordinary? That we could be amazing mothers, if we choose to be, and have an amazing career that challenges us, all at the same time. That we could work for a company that recognizes our potential and our ability. 

We think we aren’t good enough and those paths aren’t available to us. But who says? It’s time to find out by taking action, and failing, and getting up, and trying again. It’s time we learn that failing isn’t bad, and that’s just part of the process to ultimately succeeding. 

That one will take work for most women I know, where it’s ingrained that failure is to be avoided at all cost. What if we were to give ourselves bigger what-ifs? Imagine what we could do, what we could create. Being given the opportunity to fail is a gift, not a burden, and not a setup for sabotage. 

Trying something new is something to be excited about. And having it not work out exactly as planned is nothing to be ashamed of. The last thing we actually want for ourselves is to play it safe. 

Grades and test scores don’t determine who you are or who you can become. It’s the willingness to put yourself in the game and give it all you’ve got. It’s about having the freedom to make choices that align with who you most want to be. 

We tend to have very limited beliefs about ourselves and possibility. We can and should think even bigger. The world tries to pull us back to think realistically. Don’t get your hopes up. Just conform to those around you. Focus on what really matters, and your success shouldn’t matter to you. 

But I want to tell you that you don’t have to ask anyone for permission to be more successful. It’s allowed. Life is yours for the taking, so see what you can do with it. What’s possible for your life? Maybe it’s time to question what you’ve always been told and what you’ve always believed.

It will take some work to get into the practice of changing something so ingrained to create new possibilities. It truly is a gift in knowing that all possibility exists in the future. There is no limitation on it. No one can point to evidence in the future that something is impossible. 

Our minds get to decide and work towards what we’ve created in our imaginations. All things that were impossible before became possible by someone doing them. That’s how it works. It’s how it’s always worked in the world. And exactly how it will work in your life, too. 

You get to decide what is possible for you.

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Creating Your Vision For Yourself at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode thirty-six. 

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com. And if you liked this show, please tell a friend. Subscribe, rate, and review. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for joining me.