Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success Podcast, episode sixty-nine. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Effective communication is an essential skill for success in any workplace, but it’s not just about what you say, it’s also about how you say it. Your communication style can have a significant impact on your opportunities in the workplace and ultimately your career advancement. 

Practicing assertiveness, empathy and active listening, and seeking feedback can help you become a more effective communicator and build stronger relationships with colleagues and supervisors. By being aware of the pitfalls of communication and developing strategies for self-promotion with integrity, you can strike the right balance between advocating for yourself and respecting the opinions and needs of others. 

In this episode, we will help you understand your communication style and how it influences others. Becoming a more effective communicator can help you build strong relationships with those you work with on a daily basis and establish your credibility and the trust needed to help you succeed. 

We all know how to talk, but do we really know how to communicate? Communication is as much about relaying information as it is about receiving information. Ultimately, we all want to be heard, but it’s not that simple. There is so much more to consider. 

There are many benefits of effective communication, including better collaboration and teamwork, increased productivity and efficiency, and improved problem solving and decision making. Effective communication also helps to build trust and respect, fosters a positive work environment, and can even lead to career growth and advancement opportunities. 

One aspect of effective communication is assertiveness. Being assertive means expressing yourself in a clear and confident manner, while also respecting the needs and opinions of others. It involves speaking up for yourself and your ideas without being confrontational or rude, and without disregarding the opinions of others. As women in male-dominated professions, we have to walk a fine line between being assertive and being perceived as aggressive, and unfortunately, that line is somewhat subjective. 

Empathy is another key component of effective communication. It involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, understanding their perspective and feelings, and communicating with sensitivity and compassion. Practicing empathy can help you build stronger relationships with colleagues and can lead to better communication and collaboration. And thankfully, this tends to be something that women are great at. 

Active listening is also important for effective communication. It involves fully engaging with the person with whom you are speaking, focusing on what they’re saying, and providing feedback to show that you understand and are interested in their message. Active listening can help to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunication and can lead to better collaboration and problem solving. It can go a long way in building professional relationships because people really just want to be heard and you can really set yourself apart by making them feel like they are the most important person in the room. 

Asking for constructive criticism from your colleagues can help you identify areas where you need to improve and can provide valuable insights into how others perceive your communication style. Seeking feedback is critical to improving your communication skills, but remember, not all feedback is useful, so you get to decide what you will keep and apply and what you will let go. 

However, it’s also important to be aware of the pitfalls of communication, such as coming across as arrogant, aggressive, or too passive. Learning how to strike the right balance between advocating for yourself and respecting the opinions and needs of others is crucial for effective communication. Overcoming fear and discomfort and developing strategies for self-promotion with integrity can also help you become a more effective communicator and advance your career. 

Poor communication in the workplace can have significant consequences for individuals, teams, and the organization as a whole. It can result in missed deadlines or missed opportunities. When individuals fail to communicate effectively, they may not receive important information, which can be detrimental for everyone’s work. It can also lead to misunderstandings as many people misinterpret messages or fail to understand the intended meaning behind the communication, leading to confusion, frustration, and even conflict among colleagues. 

Many times poor communication is a significant contributor to conflict in the workplace. When people fail to communicate effectively, disagreements can arise leading to interpersonal conflicts that can negatively impact productivity, morale, and teamwork. At times, we all might feel disconnected or undervalued when we do not receive clear communication from our colleagues or managers. Our brains like to fill in the blanks when the information we’re receiving seems incomplete, and generally, the stories we come up with are not in our favor. This can lead to a lack of engagement and motivation, negatively impacting our productivity and job satisfaction.

There are various communication styles that can be used in the workplace, and these styles can significantly impact the way people express themselves, listen to others, and handle conflicts. 

Here are five common communication styles: 

1. Aggressive
2. Passive
3. Passive-aggressive
4. Assertive
5. Diplomatic

I’m sure you’ve run across some of those aggressive, intimidating, abusive types in your travels. They’re the ones who only want to do it their way or no way at all. They think they know best and they don’t even want to consider another way of doing things. From my own personal experience, they can be very frustrating to deal with. 

An aggressive communication style involves someone expressing their opinions and needs with little regard for others. They may use language that is threatening, belittling, or abusive to get their point across. This style can make others feel uncomfortable or intimidated, and it can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings in the workplace. Aggressive communicators may struggle to build and maintain positive relationships with the people they work with or supervise, leading to issues with teamwork and collaboration. 

Then, of course, there are the passive ones who want to avoid conflict at all cost. They don’t even want to express an opinion because someone might not agree with them. They usually say something like, “I don’t know. You decide.” They are equally challenging because you never know what they actually think. 

A passive communication style is one where someone does not assert their needs or opinions, and they may avoid expressing their thoughts to avoid conflict or offending others. This style may cause someone to feel unheard, disregarded, or not respected. In the workplace, passive communicators may struggle to advocate for themselves, contribute to discussions, or be assertive in decision-making processes. They may also struggle with conflict resolution as they may not express their concerns leading to unresolved issues which can then fester into resentment. Generally, nothing good can come out of that. 

Then, there are those who tend towards the passive-aggressive approach. They are usually the ones who have been thwarted in their efforts to express their opinions in the past and feel that their input won’t be valued or duly considered. They become frustrated by others’ unwillingness to listen and resort to sarcasm to get their point across. This is a nasty combination of the worst characteristics of the passive and aggressive styles. It’s the least productive style of communication and it undermines your ability to be heard. It’s not the best plan to gain the respect you deserve. 

A passive-aggressive communication style involves someone expressing their opinions indirectly, often through subtle hints or sarcasm. This style may create confusion, frustration, or resentment among colleagues as it can be challenging to interpret the intended meaning behind the message. In the workplace, passive-aggressive communicators may struggle to build and maintain positive relationships with those around them, leading to issues with teamwork and collaboration. Surprisingly, many people don’t realize they’ve adopted this communication style until it’s pointed out to them. 

The most effective communicators are those who are assertive. They’re able to express themselves effectively and stand up for their point of view while still respecting the views of others. They tend to be confident in their ability, yet open-minded enough to really consider alternative points of view. They’re able to change people’s minds and earn others’ respect. 

An assertive communication style involves someone expressing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a direct, honest, and respectful manner. This style allows people to advocate for themselves while also taking other people’s needs and opinions into consideration. Assertive communicators may be confident, clear, and concise in their communication, leading to effective collaboration and conflict resolution in the workplace. These are the people who are easy to get along with. There’s no guessing about what they are really trying to say.

A diplomatic communication style is characterized by tactful and respectful communication that seeks to find common ground and promote positive relationships. This style is often perceived as collaborative, professional, and effective. People who communicate diplomatically are often viewed as skilled negotiators who can resolve conflicts and build positive relationships with colleagues. Sometimes, you aren’t sure what their opinions are since they’re more focused on getting people to agree.

We tend to communicate more in one style than the others. Generally, one way will be the most comfortable for you and feel more natural. This is your go-to style, your default. It’s the style you automatically use when you get to set the tone of your communications. But remember, sometimes your style works and sometimes it doesn’t. 

We must learn to adapt our communication style depending on who we are communicating with. In order to adapt, we must first recognize our preferred approach. Once you identify what comes naturally to you, you’ll be able to understand when it will work and when it won’t. 

Communication is not about what you say, it’s about what the other person hears, and those may be quite different. Understanding the communication styles of those around you will help in all aspects of your work and reduce your frustration in making yourself heard. The communication style someone uses in the workplace can significantly impact their interactions with colleagues, the effectiveness of collaboration, and their ability to handle conflicts. 

Direct communication styles can be perceived differently in the workplace. Developing an assertive and respectful communication style is often viewed as effective, while aggressive or passive communication styles can be viewed as confrontational or just plain ineffective. A diplomatic communication style can work in promoting positive relationships and finding common ground, but some styles may lead to more issues with collaboration, conflicts, or misunderstandings. 

It is essential to understand the different styles and use them appropriately, depending on the situation. Identifying your own style can help you understand how you interact with others and how to improve your communication skills. 

Here are four tips for identifying your communication style: 

1. Reflect on your typical behaviors
2. Seek feedback
3. Pay attention to your non-verbal communication
4. Observe how you react to different situations

Take some time to reflect on how you typically communicate with others. Do you tend to be assertive or passive? Maybe you’re a little too aggressive at times. Do you often use humor or sarcasm in your communication? Do you tend to avoid conflict or confront it head-on? Reflecting on these questions can help you identify your communication style. Ask your colleagues or friends for feedback. They may be able to provide you with valuable insights into your strengths and weaknesses and how you can improve your communication skills.

Non-verbal communication such as body language and facial expressions can provide cues about your communication style. Pay attention to your non-verbal communication to identify patterns or tendencies in how you communicate what you’re thinking and feeling. People who know me well can see exactly what I’m thinking in my eyes. I don’t have a poker face and I never have. Sometimes, I don’t even need to say a word to get my point across.

It’s important to observe how you respond in different situations such as giving a presentation, receiving feedback, or working in a team. This can help you identify your communication strengths and areas for improvement, as well as help you build stronger relationships with others in the workplace. Communication style can have a significant impact on career progression and can impact your ability to lead, collaborate, negotiate, persuade, and succeed in your career. 

Effective leaders need to be able to communicate their vision, goals, and expectations clearly to their team. Leaders who communicate assertively, but with empathy and understanding, are often more successful at inspiring their team and achieving their goals. Effective collaboration requires people to communicate their needs, opinions, and ideas clearly and respectfully. Those who listen actively and show respect for others’ perspectives are more likely to build strong relationships and achieve successful outcomes in a team-based environment.

Successful negotiators are skilled communicators who can articulate their needs and interests while also listening carefully to the other person’s perspective. Negotiators who communicate assertively, but with empathy and an understanding of the others’ needs, are more likely to reach mutually beneficial or win-win agreements. Effective persuasion requires people to communicate their ideas clearly and in a compelling way, using evidence, logic, and emotional appeals to convince others. Persuaders who communicate with confidence while also showing empathy and an understanding of their audience’s needs are more likely to succeed in getting buy-in because people are generally not persuaded by facts alone. 

How well you communicate is a key factor in career progression as it allows you to build strong relationships, demonstrate your leadership skills, and achieve successful outcomes. Those who communicate effectively are often viewed as more competent, trustworthy, and valuable to their organizations leading to increased opportunities to showcase their skills. 

It is worth your time to develop your communication skills since being an effective communicator is essential for your success. 

Here are six practical tips for improving your communication style: 

1. Learn to be more assertive
2. Practice active listening
3. Develop empathy
4. Seek feedback from others
5. Use positive language
6. Exercise patience and understanding

Remember, your communication style impacts the opportunities available to you. Many people may not realize that the way they communicate, both verbally and non-verbally, can affect how they are perceived by others and the opportunities that come their way in the workplace. This includes things like tone of voice, body language, and word choice, as well as the ability to listen actively and express yourself clearly and confidently. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. 

Understanding how your communication style is perceived by others can help you make adjustments that can positively impact your career trajectory. Recognize whether you tend to use passive language or hesitant tone as you may be perceived as lacking confidence or authority, which can limit those important opportunities for advancement. 

Effective communication is a crucial skill for success in the workplace, and investing in improving your communication skills can pay dividends in terms of your earning potential, how well you get along with those you work with, and overall job satisfaction. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Improve Your Communication at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode sixty-nine.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.