Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and six. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

I’m sure there have been moments when we’ve all found ourselves grappling with the detrimental effects of prolonged stress, exhaustion, and disillusionment. Two common challenges we tend to face are burnout and feelings of betrayal, both of which can significantly impact how we show up to work. Recognizing the distinctions between the two phenomena is crucial for protecting yourself and determining your next move. 

In this episode, we explore the characteristics of burnout as well as the feelings of betrayal, shedding some light on their unique characteristics, contributing factors, and potential consequences that we need to be aware of in order to protect ourselves in the workplace. 

Burnout is a complex psychological condition that arises from chronic workplace stress, excessive workload, and an environment that fosters feelings of inadequacy. It goes beyond typical workplace stress and fatigue, manifesting as a state of physical and emotional exhaustion. It’s an organizational issue, and we need to stop being blamed for experiencing burnout. The feeling of being overwhelmed, drained, and unable to meet the demands placed upon us is not solely caused by being overworked. It is also influenced by the perception that our efforts are being undervalued or simply ineffective. 

Burnout is not our fault. It’s not that we can’t cope or that we’re less competent. High achievers and those dedicated to their jobs are often more susceptible due to their drive and commitment to their work.

It’s important to recognize the three key characteristics of burnout: 

1. Exhaustion: Burnout is marked by a profound sense of fatigue, both physical and emotional, that persists despite our best attempts at rest and relaxation. 
2. Cynicism and Detachment: People experiencing burnout may develop a cynical attitude toward their work, colleagues, and the organization. They may also become emotionally detached and disengaged from their work.
3. Feelings of Ineffectiveness: Burnout often causes people to question their competence and the value of their contributions because nothing seems to be getting done as effectively or efficiently as before, possibly feeding into that exhaustion by needing to spend longer hours to achieve the same result. 

Separate, but sometimes related, are the feelings of betrayal. In the workplace, betrayal may stem from a perceived breach of trust or unfair treatment. This emotional response can be layered on top of burnout, exacerbating the overall negative experience. Betrayal in the workplace is not necessarily about a deliberate act of sabotage, but more about the perception that your efforts and loyalty are being disregarded or undermined. 

It might be a perceived unfairness. You might feel betrayed if you believe you have been treated unfairly or that your dedication and loyalty to your organization is not reciprocated. Maybe someone took credit for your hard work when you sacrificed months to make it happen. Perhaps you were undermined by a colleague, used as a scapegoat, or thrown under the bus as a convenient way for someone to get themselves out of a jam. 

Fewer things hurt more than being betrayed by someone we trust, especially if that someone is a person we have to work alongside every day. Trust is foundational to a healthy work environment and its erosion can have long-lasting effects. When it potentially impacts our career path and our financial security, that pain gets amplified. 

When we feel betrayed by those we assumed would have our back, we may withdraw from others in the workplace and experience a sense of isolation and alienation in an attempt to protect ourselves, making us more reluctant to trust others.

We may be made to feel responsible for the challenges we are facing, contributing to a sense of guilt and self-blame. We may think we somehow brought this on ourselves and begin to question our ability to navigate complex situations and difficult people. 

While burnout and feelings of betrayal often coexist, they have distinct characteristics that can help differentiate between the two: 

1. Origin and Focus: 
   • Burnout originates from systemic issues within the workplace, such as excessive workload, lack of support, and an unhealthy organizational culture. 
   • Betrayal arises from perceived breaches of trust, unfair treatment, and a sense of being let down by those we work with or the organization. 
2. Internal versus External Factors: 
   • Burnout is not a reflection of weakness or personal failure. It’s a response to chronic workplace stressors and inadequate support systems contributing to a sense of personal inadequacy. 
   • Betrayal involves having to bear the brunt of consequences from the action or inaction of others leading to a place of disempowerment and dissatisfaction. 
3. Physical and Emotional impact: 
   • Burnout is not simply stress or feeling fatigued. It is a distinct condition characterized by chronic emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion, accompanied by a sense of cynicism, detachment, and reduced effectiveness.
   • Betrayal, in the form of professional deception, leads to unwarranted stress and disappointment, primarily affecting our emotional well-being, leading to feelings of disillusionment, mistrust, and emotional detachment. 
4. Responsibility and Blame: 
   • Burnout can affect anyone, but it is sometimes perceived by others as a sign of weakness or an inability to handle workplace stress. This leads people experiencing burnout to blame themselves for their perceived inability to cope with workplace demands. 
   • With betrayal, blame is often directed outward with people feeling let down by others or the organization, and whether they meant to cause harm or not, does nothing to lessen the experience. 

Recognizing the subtle yet significant differences between burnout and feelings of betrayal in the workplace is essential for promoting a supportive and healthy work environment. While burnout is rooted in systemic issues within the workplace, betrayal adds a layer of interpersonal dynamics, emphasizing perceived breaches of trust and unfair treatment. 

Organizations, especially those structured in a matrix environment, must prioritize creating a workplace culture that addresses the root causes of burnout, fosters open communication, and rebuilds trust to mitigate the impact of burnout. People tend to assume that those in authority understand what they’re asking of individual employees, but when expectations exceed capacity, those being overburdened feel betrayed by those who should be looking out for them. By understanding and addressing these challenges, workplaces can cultivate an atmosphere that promotes employee well-being, engagement, and overall satisfaction with sustainable workload expectations. 

As we delve into the distinctions between burnout and feelings of betrayal in the workplace, it becomes evident that these challenges are intricately linked, yet distinctly characterized. It emphasizes the importance of trust in professional relationships because behaviors have consequences. 

Trust is a fundamental element that underpins all successful professional relationships. In the workplace, trust serves as the foundation for effective communication, collaboration, and productivity. When people trust the people they work with, they’re more likely to share ideas, provide constructive feedback, and work together to achieve project objectives. Trust also contributes to a positive work culture where people feel secure, supported, and motivated. 

When that trust is violated in the professional setting, it can have profound consequences, often contributing to burnout and feelings of betrayal. Trust violations can manifest in various forms, including broken promises, unreasonable expectations, lack of transparency, and perceived unfair treatment. These breaches erode the foundation of trust and create an environment where people begin to question their competence and abilities.

Trust violations often lead to increased stress, anxiety, and the sense of helplessness. We may feel overburdened with an unreasonable workload as we grapple with the emotional toll of broken trust, contributing to burnout. The erosion of trust can create a toxic work environment, exacerbating feelings of inadequacy and profound exhaustion. 

Trust violations are also closely linked to feelings of betrayal, where we may perceive that our loyalty and efforts have been disregarded or undermined. Betrayal intensifies emotional responses, fostering a sense of disillusionment, isolation, and resentment. We may begin to question the authenticity of our professional relationships, leading to a breakdown in communication, and fostering resentment. 

In navigating burnout and betrayal, seeking external perspectives from people outside the immediate professional circle can be immensely beneficial. These alternative viewpoints can help us gain clarity on the dynamics at play, provide strategies for expressing concerns in a professional manner, and make informed decisions to protect ourselves moving forward. 

External perspectives bring a number of benefits, including objectivity and fresh insights, broader understanding of the situation, and much needed guidance and support to find our way back. They provide an unbiased viewpoint, free from the emotional entanglements of the workplace. They may be able to provide a different interpretation of the events, helping us see beyond our immediate emotional reactions to what is really going on. 

Being immersed in a challenging work environment might give us a limited perspective on the situation. As they say, “it’s hard to read the label when you’re inside the jar”. Being open to additional perspectives offers a broader understanding of the dynamics, organizational culture, and interpersonal relationships at play. 

Seeking advice from mentors, friends, or a coach can provide guidance on how to directly address the situation before it results in burnout. Sometimes, external support systems can offer practical strategies for navigating our workplace challenges and rebuilding trust. Effectively expressing your emotions and concerns in a professional manner is essential for addressing feelings of betrayal and preempting full-blown burnout. 

Here are five strategies for navigating those difficult conversations:

1. Choose the right time and setting: Select an appropriate time and private setting to discuss your concerns with the people involved. Avoid confronting them in the heat of the moment. Instead, take twenty-four hours to sleep on it, to give you a chance to calm down and regain your professional composure. But remember, silence is not a solution either if you wish to step into your power.
2. Use “I” statements: Express what you are feeling without placing blame. For example, say “I feel overwhelmed and unsupported” instead of “You never provide the help I need”. No one can argue with how you feel, but they will instantly get defensive when they feel attacked. 
3. Provide specific examples: Clearly articulate specific instances that have contributed to your feelings of betrayal, and provide concrete examples to help others understand the impact of their expectations on your feelings of overwhelm. 
4. Listen attentively: Listening with the intention to understand their perspective might just give you the opportunity to explain your viewpoint as well. 
5. Seek solutions together: This situation didn’t happen overnight and expecting it to be immediately resolved might be a little unrealistic. Instead, work together to identify solutions and put together a plan to remedy the situation as quickly as possible, while still addressing your client’s needs. 

Addressing burnout and betrayal is not only about expressing feelings, but also about taking proactive steps to protect yourself in the future. Consider implementing or shoring up your professional boundaries. You have to be able to say no when necessary or you will be in a constant state of overwhelm with work continuing to come at you from all directions. 

Also, get the habit of keeping a record of important conversations, decisions, and promises made. This documentation can serve as a useful reference in case of future misunderstandings, or a quick reminder for particular individuals with selective memory who promised you that promotion. 

Experiencing burnout and betrayal in the workplace can be emotionally draining and professionally challenging. Don’t let yourself go down the road where you feel you should be entitled to restitution for what you’ve endured or begin to feel apathetic or indifferent toward your work. Do your best to just move on with your life and put it behind you. Remind yourself why you chose this field in the first place and be true to what matters most to you. Do everything you can to restore yourself to your high professional standards for quality, timely work. That will bring back your job satisfaction and get you back on track for bigger things. 

While it may initially feel daunting and disheartening, the power to remedy the situation and foster positive change resides within us. Taking a proactive stance serves as an empowering antidote against workplace burnout and betrayal. Shift away from adopting a victim mentality and explore the transformative power that taking deliberate action can have in addressing challenges, reclaiming control, and paving the way for personal and professional empowerment. 

When we find ourselves dealing with burnout and feelings of betrayal, there is often a pervasive sense of helplessness. The overwhelming nature of these experiences can lead to a belief that the situation is insurmountable, leaving us feeling powerless to affect change. This perceived helplessness can create a paralyzing effect, hindering our ability to address the root causes of burnout and betrayal.

The first step toward empowerment is acknowledging the things you have control of in the situation, and that’s your own behavior. Analyze how your actions may have contributed to the feelings of betrayal and what you could have done differently to prevent going down the road to burnout. We are never just innocent bystanders in any situation, but I’m not saying you brought any of this on yourself. I’m simply saying that this self-awareness lays the foundation for targeted actions. 

Doing nothing or saying nothing in the face of burnout and betrayal perpetuates a negative feedback loop. It allows these issues to persist and worsen over time. Action disrupts this cycle by demonstrating a commitment to change. It transforms a passive stance into an active, solution-oriented approach. 

Every challenge offers an opportunity for growth. Actively reflect on your experience of burnout and betrayal, extracting valuable lessons that can inform your future decisions. Adjust your strategies based on what works and what doesn’t. Your ability to adapt demonstrates resilience and a commitment to continuous improvement. 

Remember, in the face of burnout and betrayal, the antidote lies in action. You can’t control the behavior of others, but you can take proactive steps to address the root causes of these challenges and reclaim control of your professional life. The paralysis of helplessness is dispelled by a commitment to change and a willingness to confront and overcome obstacles. Empowerment through action. Not only alleviates burnout and rebuilds trust, but also sets the stage for sustained professional growth. Protecting yourself involves setting boundaries and learning how to express your concerns in a professional manner. 

Ultimately, the empowering antidote against burnout and betrayal is found in taking deliberate action, steering away from a victim mentality and embracing a proactive stance that paves the way for a more resilient and fulfilling professional journey. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Reclaiming Your Power at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and six.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.