Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success Podcast, episode ninety-six. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Goals give us direction and purpose, helping us prioritize our tasks and get the results we’re looking for. Without goals, we may feel lost or directionless, unsure of what steps to take to achieve our desired outcomes. Some goals can be achieved quickly, others might take several months or years to be realized, and those long-term goals may take years or even decades to accomplish. Each type of goal can be useful in different situations depending on the context and our individual needs. 

In this episode, we look at the benefits of setting goals, especially when there may be multiple demands and distractions vying for our attention, as well as some strategies to use to help you achieve them. While it’s great to set goals, it’s having a process in place for achieving them that really makes the difference. 

The clean slate of the new year is a great opportunity to adopt some new behaviors. It feels like a natural fresh start where we can leave all those unhelpful ways of doing things behind and set our sights on new, ambitious objectives to work towards. I’m sure we’ve all set big goals, or even just slightly better goals, at one time or another as the new year rolls around, only to give them up by the second week of January. There’s always a much bigger crowd at the gym at the start of January with attendance dropping to just the regulars by mid-February. I think we can all agree that it would do us good to try to stick to some of our goals. 

The new year is a common starting point, but that’s not the only time to consider making a change. For me, September also feels like a good time for a refresh since the school year calendar is so deeply ingrained, even though I no longer have school-aged kids. You can decide to start something new on any random Tuesday, but if you’re anything like me, there’s something deeply satisfying about choosing the beginning of the month or even the beginning of the week as your starting point. There’s just something about it that simplifies tracking my progress and anything that makes things simpler is a keeper in my books. 

Life can be unpredictable, which tends to make us think that planning is pointless. I happen to believe that while planning can be difficult, being more deliberate about making plans can actually bring more certainty into our lives and help reduce our anxiety levels. 

We’ve all gone through a shift in the past few years, which has forever altered our perception of work and highlighted more of the need to align our work with our values. Whether you are enthusiastically climbing the corporate ladder or considering the idea of trying something new and different, like changing your profession or starting your own business, now is a good time to pause and reflect on your work-related goals. 

However, setting and achieving goals is not always easy, particularly in challenging work environments. There may be many obstacles and distractions that can make it difficult to stay focused and motivated, and we have to be prepared to face setbacks along the way. To overcome these challenges, we need to develop effective strategies for goal setting and achievement. 

Here are five tricks to help you do just that: 

1. Find your why
2. Visualize your future
3. Make the process of change more attractive
4. Understand the power of emotions
5. Applaud your efforts

Trick #1: Find your why

Identifying why a particular goal is important to you is a critical step in the goal setting process as it can provide the motivation and direction needed to achieve the desired result. When we understand why a particular goal is important, we are more likely to stay committed and engaged in the pursuit of that goal. This requires having a clear understanding of the purpose and significance of what we want to achieve because we can’t accomplish a goal until we’ve defined it.

Start by clarifying the end result you want and be specific. Write it down. That part is key. Somehow, in the act of writing it down on paper, you’re able to disentangle your thoughts and get really clear about what it is you want. 

It might seem a bit cliche, but finding your compelling reason is critical. Change is a process and it needs to start with a clear understanding of why you want to make that change.

This requires an understanding of your intrinsic motivators and the external drivers. You may discover some big factor that is compelling you to do things differently, but more than likely it’s a few very small reasons. It might be rooted in vanity or maybe it’s based on getting some relief from your anxiety. Be honest with yourself. No judgment here. 

Ask yourself: Why do you believe you need to make these changes to your career or your life this year? What is it that you want that you don’t already have? 

These answers can help you find your trigger that sets everything in motion. It could be anything, but it’s definitely not because it’s what other people around you think you should be doing. It has to be what gets you really excited. And once you find that driver, it will be easier to define the actions you need to take to make it happen.

Everything becomes easier when what you need to do is meaningful to you. Recognize where you may be putting totally unrealistic expectations on yourself. Are you holding yourself to impossible standards that are fueled by perfectionism? That could compromise the whole mission. 

Knowing why you want to do something can help in many ways, including keeping you focused on the task at hand by eliminating distractions or all the other things that are not in alignment with your desired outcome. Understanding your why can make your ideas and vision easier to outline, plan, and communicate to others because you’re intentionally focusing on the reason you want it and how it will impact you. Articulating your why makes it easier to decide what you should and should not be doing because your priorities are connected to this purpose. 

Try using this simple statement and fill in the blanks: “I want to [X] so that I can [Y].” 

This just might help you uncover your deeper motivations for the change you desire, but more importantly, it might also help you uncover the reasons that are keeping you from making the change you want to make. Sometimes there are secondary advantages at play that sabotage our efforts to make a change we think we want, because there’s some kind of benefit to us in not making that change in our lives. Just like our desire for change has to be stronger than our desire for the short-term relief we could get by not expending the effort, it also needs to be stronger than the not so obvious advantage we may be getting from maintaining the status quo. 

Be aware that getting to your why can be an emotional experience. It might bring up a lot of feelings that you then need to deal with. But once you are clear, it will help you strengthen your commitment to your goal, and you may find that you are better able to stick with it even when things get tough. 

Trick #2: Visualize your future

Paint a compelling version of the future you aspire to. This requires imagining yourself having already accomplished your goal by describing what you’re thinking, feeling, and doing. Immerse yourself in a vivid imagination exercise where you include as much detail as possible about this future version of yourself using all five senses. 

This goes a long way in helping you define yourself as the type of person who has what you want, which also comes in handy when making decisions about what to do next. Once you have a good idea of that future you’re looking for, it will be easier to say no to opportunities that aren’t aligned with that goal because you’ll be more likely to choose something that will propel you toward that version of yourself rather than just filling time. 

Trick #3: Make the process of change more attractive

Making a change requires a considerable amount of time, energy, and focus. We are far more likely to succeed by making small behavioral changes now that will set us on the right path, as opposed to trying to make one big change all at once and expecting things to go perfectly.

Setting an unrealistic goal with an aggressive timeline can make it very unappealing to even start, because on some level, we know we’re just setting ourselves up to fail. We then wonder why we lack the motivation to even begin. When something feels overwhelming, we tend to put it off until a later date. It’s just human nature. It’s not proof that we have no willpower or perseverance.

If you’re anything like me, we tend to see our goals as one action when in reality it’s more of a project with multiple tasks involved. Breaking that goal down into its component parts and then doing one thing every day feels far more manageable. Determine what needs to be done to achieve your goal and the behaviors that will enable you to make it happen. Don’t make these activities too difficult or overwhelming. Keep reducing the scope of each task until it feels easy to do in the typical time blocks you have available. Then, maintain this new habit of tackling one thing each day, consistently, every day of the week. 

In this way, you are incrementally creating the habit now that will set your future self up for success. With each thing you do, you’ll be one step closer to reaching your goal. If you want to make progress, you need to trade intensity for consistency. 

Intense goal setting doesn’t work as well as creating new habits that make small tweaks to your lifestyle. You want each step to be incredibly easy, so there’s less resistance to taking action, and there’s no excuse for not getting it done each day. It’s all about simple behavior changes, done consistently because sometimes, doing the things that we know need to be done are not the most fun or attractive options. 

We need to try to do what we can to make the experience more fun. Ask yourself, “How can I make what I want to be doing easier and more enjoyable than not doing it?”. Setting these types of habit goals will keep you focused on the small tasks that can be easily completed each day. Track your progress because a series of consistent victories keeps the momentum going. 

Trick #4: Understand the power of emotions

Emotions have a critical role to play in forming habits, achieving goals, and even whether we procrastinate. Learning to process our emotions rather than bury them can be a game changer. 

Procrastination is actually an issue in regulating our emotions. When we need to get something done that causes us anxiety, fear, or stress, we get the urge to first relieve that uncomfortable feeling to make ourselves feel better, like doing something else as a way to distract ourselves. Many of us are drawn to mindless time fillers, but sometimes, in order to avoid what we should be doing, we do something else that is equally productive, but it just feels easier in the moment than the task we’re avoiding.

It can be interesting to try to understand why certain tasks trigger negative emotional reactions because simply putting it off won’t dissociate that specific task from the negative emotional response it causes. But what’s most important is what we are doing to manage these emotions. Finding what is effective for you to reduce these uncomfortable feelings will ultimately help you overcome your procrastination. 

Having moments of self-doubt regarding our ability to achieve our goals can leave us feeling defeated by any obstacle that comes our way. It doesn’t take much to completely derail us when we’re already questioning our capability, so we need to get out ahead of it. 

Try to remove any anticipated obstacles before you begin by asking yourself, “What could prevent me from accomplishing this goal?”. Take the time to write down all the potential roadblocks, excuses, or fears that come up in one column. Then, while you’re reviewing these obstacles one by one, write down your strategies for navigating them when they arise. 

It is by writing down your potential barriers that you eliminate much of their power. Identifying the obstacles you expect to encounter, which are most likely concerning time or money, may also help you distinguish between those that are self-imposed and those that are beyond your control. Focus your efforts on the ones you can control and try to let go of the rest.

Trick #5: Applaud your efforts

Our tendency to be too harsh on ourselves may be contributing to sabotaging our own success. Instead of feeling angry, frustrated, or disappointed in yourself next time when you’re telling yourself that something didn’t go as well as it could have, cut yourself some slack. 

Practice some self-compassion. Step back and take a few moments to reflect on your efforts and applaud yourself for trying. Not everything will go as planned each and every time. Pause to evaluate what went well and what didn’t. Use this analysis to help you improve your goals for next time. This can be an opportunity to learn a lot about yourself and be better prepared for the next round. 

Pushing too hard or being too strict with ourselves can be counterproductive. Beating ourselves up each time we encounter a setback or roadblock can jeopardize our willingness to stick with something that is challenging.

While it’s important to celebrate your wins because it feels great and reinforces the habits that you need to accomplish the next goal you set for yourself, try to also enjoy the process of working towards your goals. You may begin to notice a pattern in helpful behaviors that work well for you, as well as the self-imposed barriers you routinely encounter. 

By setting and working towards your goals, you can achieve great things even in a challenging work environment where recognition may not come easily. Remember that goal setting is a process and it requires effort and commitment over time. With persistence and determination, you can achieve your goals and find success and fulfillment in your personal and professional life. 

Consider restructuring the way you think about your goals. Focus on the small tasks you can complete each day, because less resistance means more incremental progress. Those who take the time to celebrate their wins not only end up accomplishing more, but they also enjoy the journey, which in turn helps them create more sustainable goal-achieving habits. 

So remember, it’s okay to have fun along the way. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Achieving Great Things at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode ninety-six.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.