Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success Podcast, episode sixty. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Women in STEM need to find their allies in order to build a successful career in the field of their choice. The type of ally we’re talking about is when someone with privilege and power takes action to support women in male-dominated professions. This requires active listening, shining a light on problematic behavior, supporting those women affected, continuing to learn and grow, and working alongside the women as a partner in creating a more inclusive workspace. 

In this episode, we explore what it means to be an ally to women in the male-dominated workplace. It requires a willingness to engage in self-reflection, educating yourself about the experiences of these women, while also addressing our unconscious biases, and gaining a better understanding of the destructive power of gaslighting. By taking these steps, we can all become more effective advocates and allies for women by creating a workplace culture that is inclusive, supportive, and empowering for all employees. 

Being an ally for women means actively supporting and advocating for women who commonly face marginalization and discrimination in the male-dominated workplace, and taking intentional steps to understand and challenge systemic oppression and actively working to dismantle it. It’s important for creating an inclusive and supportive environment for everyone, and it can benefit both the women who are trying to belong, as well as those being their ally. 

Women in male-dominated professions sometimes face barriers to promotion and experience lower job satisfaction due to systemic biases and discrimination. Allies can help break down these barriers by advocating for those women who may be overlooked. This can lead to a more diverse and skilled workforce, as well as increased innovation and creativity, which research has shown can be a benefit to the bottom line. 

Being an ally can also provide a sense of support and validation as women face isolation and barriers to their success in the workplace, which can lead to feelings of disempowerment, low self-esteem, and ultimately lead to leaving the profession citing an unfriendly work environment. Allies can help to create a sense of community and solidarity and can help to amplify the voices of women and their ideas. This can lead to a more positive and empowering workplace experience for everyone. 

In addition, being an ally can benefit the ally themselves by increasing their own awareness and understanding of the barriers faced by women in the male-dominated workplace. Allies can learn from the experiences and perspectives of women and can work to challenge their own biases and assumptions based on gender stereotypes. This can lead to personal growth and development and can help allies to become more effective advocates for women and better leaders in the workplace and beyond. 

There are a number of ways that we can become effective allies for women in the workplace. One important step is to educate yourself about women’s experiences and perspectives and to listen and learn from their stories. Another important step is to actively challenge and disrupt this discrimination that commonly happens in the workplace. This can involve shining a light on problematic attitudes and behaviors when they arise and even challenging them, if you feel comfortable. Allies can also use their privilege and power to create opportunities and pathways for women to succeed in the workplace. 

Being an effective ally means being willing to take risks and make mistakes, and being open to feedback and accountability. Allies may make mistakes or face pushback when challenging the status quo, but it is important to continue to learn, grow, and adapt in order to create a more inclusive and supportive workplace culture. Being an ally is a critical component of creating an inclusive and supportive workplace culture that is sometimes missed when people think having policies in place are enough. 

Being an ally involves actively working to understand and challenge the real barriers women face when trying to advance their careers. It can benefit everyone by creating a more diverse and skilled workforce, providing a sense of support and validation for highly educated, driven, and talented women who face more obstacles than men in advancing their careers. By taking intentional steps to become effective allies, everyone can help create a workplace culture that is inclusive, supportive, and empowering for women. We have a long way to go.

In today’s world, being an ally in the workplace has become increasingly important. It is everyone’s responsibility to advocate for and support women in male-dominated professions, recognizing that they face unique challenges and obstacles that must be overcome in order for them to succeed in their careers. 

Being an ally in the workplace involves a number of skills, including self-reflection and self-education. 

• Self-reflection involves taking a critical look at your own biases, attitudes, and the gender stereotypes that you have bought into while also understanding that these biases may impact your interactions with women. This requires being open and honest with yourself and to recognize that your own experiences and perspective may not be representative of the experiences of all women. By engaging in regular self-reflection, we can all begin to identify our own biases and work to overcome them, becoming more effective allies in the process.
• Self-education involves taking the time to learn about the experiences and perspectives of women and understanding the ways in which the barriers they encounter impact them and how they inform what they consider possible going forward in their careers. For example, in male-dominated professions, women may face unique challenges related to gender bias, discrimination, and harassment. 

Allies can educate themselves about these issues by seeking out a variety of sources and perspectives by reading books, listening to podcasts, attending workshops and seminars, and participating in online communities where women discuss their experiences and share strategies for success. 

In addition to self-reflection and educating yourself, being an effective ally in the workplace requires a willingness to address unconscious biases and understand the damaging effects of gaslighting. 

• Unconscious biases are implicit attitudes and beliefs that can impact our interactions with women and affect how competent we think they are, often without us even realizing it. Commonly, assumptions are made about their abilities and limiting their potential as leaders, even when it’s not based on any evidence or objective criteria. These biases can impact hiring decisions, promotions, and everyday interactions with women in the workplace. 
• Gaslighting on the other hand, involves the manipulation of information in order to make someone question their own perceptions and experiences. Commonly, when women have the courage to speak up, they are then told that they are overreacting or that the incident they found uncomfortable or inappropriate was not as serious as they are making it out to be. This type of gaslighting can be incredibly damaging as it undermines the credibility and agency of the woman who is being targeted. 

In order to address unconscious biases and gaslighting in the workplace, allies can take a number of steps including speaking up when the biases are evident, and providing support and validation to those who are subjected to gaslighting because sometimes the policies and practices that are supposed to promote diversity and inclusion are not enough, and the training and development opportunities that focus on these issues don’t have the intended consequence of holding people accountable. 

As an ally, there are practical ways to support women and handle difficult situations with grace. Allies can support women facing barriers to career advancement in the workplace by checking in with them regularly, amplifying their voices by promoting their work or ideas, and advocating for their inclusion in meetings or decision-making processes. This could be actively encouraging them to share their experience and insights in meetings, fostering a workplace culture that values diverse perspectives and encourages open discussion on possible alternatives from all participants.

Another way to support women is to provide mentorship and sponsorship. Allies can help to connect these women with mentors and sponsors who can provide guidance, career advice, advocate for their advancement, and help them navigate the inevitable barriers they will continue to encounter as they move up in their careers. 

Being an active listener involves being fully present and engaged when women are sharing their experiences and perspectives, asking thoughtful, open-ended questions, and seeking to understand their point of view, without judgment or defensiveness. If you are unsure about what you should say or do in a particular situation, simply ask these women for input by asking them what they think would be the most helpful thing for you to do right now. 

No one expects you to know all the answers and asking them for input shows you recognize that there’s an issue and demonstrates your concern. When you witness gender discrimination or microaggressions, it is crucial to call attention to them in a respectful and non-confrontational manner. Sometimes this is really challenging the status quo because these can become normalized behaviors. You can do this by shining a light on the behavior directly, expressing how it made you feel, and explaining why it is unacceptable. We can’t simply rely on the organization to enact policies and practices that promote diversity and inclusion since they’re rarely enforced.

It is also important to recognize that being an ally is an ongoing process of learning and growth. It is essential to continually seek feedback from women in male-dominated workplaces to get their take on how to improve in being a better ally. It must be recognized that as an ally, it is not your job to speak for those women affected. Instead, support the women’s efforts and work alongside them as a partner in creating a more inclusive workplace. Being an ally in the workplace can be challenging, and allies may face a variety of obstacles in their efforts to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for women. 

Here are some of the most common challenges that allies may face and some tips for handling these obstacles and bouncing back from setbacks: 

• Dealing with resistance and pushback: This can come from colleagues who do not share the commitment to challenging the status quo, so the ally should remain calm and respectful in their interactions. They should also be prepared to explain why diversity, equity, and inclusion are important, and how promoting women benefits the organization as a whole. It’s important to be willing to listen to their concerns and ask for their input in how they think they should be addressed. 
• Navigating complex issues: In order to overcome the feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty about how to navigate complex issues and challenging people, allies should take the time to educate themselves about the experiences of women in male-dominated professions and the ways in which it manifests for them specifically in the workplace. They should also seek guidance and support from people who have expertise in these areas and be willing to engage in ongoing learning and development. 
• Balancing competing needs and perspectives: There are multiple stakeholders, including the women affected, other allies, and members of the broader organization to be taken into consideration but may compete with each other, so allies should prioritize the needs and perspectives of the women affected and seek to understand their issues and how they would like those concerns to be addressed. They should also be willing to engage with other stakeholders and find ways to build consensus around solutions that promote diversity, equity, and inclusion, which are also good for the bottom line. 
• Facing backlash or criticism: This can come from the women directly affected, where they see that what is being done is not genuine or having the desired effect. Allies should listen to and validate the concerns of their colleagues, acknowledge their mistakes or missteps, and be willing to take corrective action. They should also be willing to seek feedback and guidance from the women affected and work to build trust and credibility through ongoing engagement and advocacy. Even with the best of intentions, everyone makes mistakes or missteps in their efforts to support women in the workplace, so allies need to be willing to listen and learn, to acknowledge those mistakes or missteps, to be accountable for their actions, and to take corrective action. When this happens, it’s important to take responsibility for your actions and be willing to learn from the feedback you receive. 

Here are some tips for handling mistakes or missteps in being an ally:

• Acknowledge and apologize for your mistake: Mistakes will happen, so acknowledge it and apologize for any harm your action may have caused. This shows that you take responsibility for your behavior and that you are committed to doing better in the future.
• Learn from your experience: Use your mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow as an ally. Reflect on what went wrong and how you can do better next time. Seek feedback from the women affected and be open to their suggestions for improvement. 
• Take corrective action: Once you have learned from your mistake, take the necessary corrective action to make it right. 

And finally, three things to remember:

1. Listen and educate yourself: One of the most important things you can do as an ally is to listen to the experiences of women in male-dominated professions and learn from them. It is essential to educate yourself on the issues these women are struggling with.
2. Speak up and advocate: When you witness unfair treatment or gender bias against the women you work with, speak up and advocate for them. This could mean shining a light on inappropriate comments or behavior and encouraging others to be allies as well. Use your voice to amplify women’s contribution in your workplace.
3. Take action: Take action while holding onto the belief that change is possible.

Remember that being an ally is an ongoing process, and it requires a continuous commitment to believing in yourself and the women you are trying to advocate for, promoting your own work, and amplifying the contributions of all women to normalize the perception of equality in your workplace.

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Being A Better Ally at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode sixty.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com. And if you liked this show, please tell a friend. Subscribe, rate, and review. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for joining me.