Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and two. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

As women, we continue to navigate the challenges and obstacles in our way as we try to build impressive careers. Over the years, the workplace has evolved and strides have been made, yet there’s still work to be done to improve our experience at work, and much of this work is what we need to do internally with shifting our mindsets instead of waiting for systemic change to happen, which might take years or even decades. Regardless of the level of improvements that may or may not have happened where you are, things are changing very slowly, so we need to do what we can to make things more tolerable by focusing on what is within our control. 

In this episode, we explore the behaviors and attitudes that we can adopt that might have a profound impact on our experience in the workplace. If I had to guess, your limiting beliefs, your tendency to downplay your achievements, the professional boundaries you’re lacking, and your reluctance to embrace change or advocate for yourself are all areas that could use some attention. I know this because it’s the same for me. I know that making some much needed improvements in these areas could bring about a profound transformation in how I experience my workplace. 

As we delve into the actionable steps and improvements that we can make to transform our experience at work, it’s crucial to recognize that the journey involves more than just external changes. Shifting our mindset and behaviors requires navigating through the emotional turmoil that comes with self-reflection and personal growth. This shift from focusing solely on external factors to acknowledging the internal work underscores the power we have to shape our futures and create impressive careers. By embracing this mindset shift, we empower ourselves to take control of our narratives and transcend challenges with resilience and purpose.

All this takes time and in this challenging phase of transition, navigating through a spectrum of emotions is part of the process. It’s completely understandable not to feel an immediate sense of happiness or alignment with your principles during this period. You’re still in the thick of the work, dwelling in the space where significant decisions still need to be made, and it takes time to reorganize and figure things out. Finding balance in this turmoil is an ongoing journey, especially when curating a new space for yourself and what for some may seem like a less than welcoming work environment. 

Perhaps this is well underway for you. For others, they may be just beginning. It’s a learning process to adapt to the changes you’ve initiated. It’s not that the choices you’ve made were wrong, rather, there’s still work to be done before reaping the full rewards of those decisions. The discomfort of doing what you know needs to be done to move your career forward may not always be pleasant or translate into immediate reward, but trust me, it’s still worth doing. 

In this phase, where you’re actively pushing against the status quo, it’s essential to acknowledge that improving your experience at work goes hand-in-hand with building a life grounded in meaning and purpose. While the journey might not feel immediately satisfying, the crucial aspect is that you’re consistently aligning your activities, relationships, and how you spend your time and energy, both at work and outside the office, with what matters most to you. 

Understanding that values are a set of personal preferences unique to each individual becomes pivotal in this process. Making choices that resonate with your career goals, irrespective of external expectations or norms, forms the foundation of your journey. The discomfort and emotional turbulence signify growth. That’s the internal work we’re talking about that is required to align your working life with the principles you hold dear. 

Embracing this phase and allowing the mindset shifts to take hold paves the way for eventually realizing your goals, contributing positively to your career and long-term earning potential. Remember, doing the right thing may not always feel good immediately, but the rewards lie in the alignment of your actions with your true values. 

Here are five ways to improve your experience at work: 

1. Assessing your mindset
2. Owning your achievements
3. Setting boundaries
4. Embracing challenges
5. Advocating for yourself

1.Assessing your mindset

Our professional journey often begins within the confines of our own minds. The impact of limiting beliefs on our experience at work cannot be overstated. As women, especially in male-dominated fields, we might find ourselves questioning our abilities, haunted by imposter syndrome, or feeling like we’re treading on unfamiliar ground under far more scrutiny than is warranted. These self-imposed limitations can become invisible barriers that hinder our progress. 

To shed some light on this, let’s consider for a moment the work of Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist known for her work on mindset. She distinguishes between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A fixed mindset believes in static traits and abilities, while a growth mindset thrives on the belief and abilities that can be developed through dedication and hard work. 

In the context of improving our experience in the workplace, developing a growth mindset is crucial. It involves recognizing and challenging those limiting beliefs that tend to hold us back. Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts about your capabilities. Are there areas where you doubt yourself? Acknowledging these thoughts is the first step toward breaking free from their constraints. 

It’s also essential to surround ourselves with positive influences. Seek out mentors or a career coach who have overcome similar challenges and understand the work culture and what you’re up against. Share your experiences with trusted colleagues or friends who can provide constructive feedback. Remember, the power to reshape your mindset lies within you. 

2.Owning your achievements

We tend to downplay our knowledge, experience, and accomplishments, contributing to a negative self-narrative. This tendency can stem from societal expectations, the fear of being perceived as arrogant, or imposter syndrome creeping in. 

It’s time to rewrite the script. Take a moment to reflect on your achievements, both big and small. Recognize the effort, skill, and dedication you invested and the results you created for yourself. Share your successes with confidence. Celebrate your victories unapologetically. 

I know I used to downplay my successes, attributing them to luck or external factors. It wasn’t until I started acknowledging and embracing my accomplishments and all the effort that I had put into making it happen that I noticed a significant shift. Others began to see me in a different light, and more importantly, I started to see myself as a capable and accomplished professional. 

By building a positive narrative around our successes, we not only boost our confidence, but also set the stage for others to recognize and appreciate our contributions. Your achievements are not just a stroke of luck or simply being in the right place at the right time; they are a result of your hard work and expertise. 

3.Setting boundaries

Professional boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy work-life integration and fostering respect in the workplace. In male-dominated professions, the pressure to conform to established norms can be overwhelming. We often face challenges when it comes to setting boundaries, fearing doing so may result in us being labeled as difficult or too assertive. When did assertive become a bad thing?

 To tackle this issue, it’s crucial to understand that setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness or an inability to cope, but a demonstration of self-respect and professionalism. It’s about defining the space where you can perform at your best without compromising your well-being. 

Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy work environment. It’s about communicating your needs and expectations clearly. We tend to hesitate, fearing pushback or judgment. However, establishing boundaries not only preserves your well-being, but also contributes to a more positive, respectful, and productive workplace without all the resentment that comes from being overburdened. It is also crucial for creating sustainable success. 

As women, it’s vital to communicate our boundaries confidently. If you’re waffling on your limits, no one else is going to take them seriously. Practice assertiveness and be clear about your expectations. Remember, setting boundaries is not only about saying no when necessary, but also making room to say yes to the things that will further your professional growth. 

4.Embracing challenges

Obstacles, setbacks, and missteps are inherent in any career journey. However, the way we perceive and handle these challenges can make a significant difference. Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, we need to reframe them as opportunities for growth. Think of it as who you are becoming as you learn from each mistake. 

Consider the concept of a growth mindset introduced earlier. Embracing challenges with a positive mindset not only builds resilience, but also positions setbacks as stepping stones towards success. It’s about learning from experiences, making adjustments, and emerging stronger. 

I wish I could say that every setback I’ve encountered has become a huge turning point in my career. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been my experience, but I have benefited from many of the things that didn’t go as planned because of what I learned about myself in the process. Instead of dwelling on ‘what went wrong?’, I am usually able to turn my attention to, ‘what can I learn from this?’. Things still go wrong, but as long as it’s new and different each time, I can assume that I’m learning something from all those missteps. 

By reframing setbacks, we not only enhance our problem solving skills, but also demonstrate to others – and ourselves – that adversity is not a roadblock, but a catalyst for growth. I’ve come to realize that it’s all part of the process and I’m learning to enjoy the journey. 

5.Advocating for yourself

Advocating for what we want and deserve is a common challenge for many of us in the workplace. Whether it’s negotiating a starting salary that reflects what you understand as the responsibilities of the role, seeking a promotion, or expressing our desire to continue to be challenged, the fear of being perceived as aggressive or demanding can be paralyzing. 

It’s time to break free from these chains. Advocating for ourselves is our responsibility. Think about it, if we don’t advocate for ourselves, who will? 

Advocating for yourself is not about being confrontational; it’s about communicating your value confidently. Prepare in advance for all negotiations, articulate your achievements, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you deserve. Remember, advocating for yourself is an integral part of your professional journey, and it’s time you recognized your worth to your organization. Whether it’s negotiating a salary, seeking recognition, or expressing your professional needs, advocating for yourself is a skill that can shape the trajectory of your career. 

We are a long way from where we’d like to be with gender equality in the workplace. Sometimes, it seems we take one step forward and two steps back. Things may not not change on that front during our lifetimes, or maybe they will. Your guess is as good as mine. In the meantime, it’s evident that there’s still work to be done internally on our own behaviors and attitudes. Assessing our mindset, owning our achievements, setting boundaries, embracing challenges, and advocating for ourselves are key components in this transformative journey. 

Remember, your confidence, your capabilities, and your voice matter. Regardless of external circumstances, the power to shape your professional experience lies within you. By standing your ground and believing in your abilities, you not only elevate yourself, but also contribute to the ongoing progress toward a more inclusive and empowering workplace. 

Take charge of your narrative, celebrate your successes, set boundaries unapologetically, view challenges as opportunities, and advocate for yourself with unwavering confidence. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to The Work Still To Be Done at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and two.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.