Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and seventeen. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Professionals across various industries are increasingly facing the phenomenon known as expectation escalation. This subtle, yet pervasive challenge emerges as the demands and responsibilities placed on employees incrementally increase, often with a corresponding decrease in our sense of stability. As new projects are piled on top of existing ones, and as the complexity and scope of work expands, we find ourselves navigating a continuous cycle of heightened expectations. Without effective strategies to manage this escalation, this situation can lead to frustration, stress, and ultimately burnout, affecting not only our personal well-being, but also our professional performance and job satisfaction. 

In this episode, we dive into this phenomenon of expectation escalation, how to recognize the signs that you’re being overburdened and underappreciated, and explore practical strategies for managing increased responsibilities. A few key areas we’ll address include the importance of communicating your limits, the art of gracefully saying ‘no’ to unreasonable requests, and the transition from doing all the work yourself, to making it happen by delegating and empowering others.

We’ll get into some strategies to help you cope with the pressure of added responsibilities and the critical junctures at which you need to assess whether your current role still aligns with what you want to get out of your job. Through this exploration, I’m hoping you’ll gain some insights into effectively navigating the challenges of expectation escalation in your workplace. 

Unfortunately, the pressure is increasing to do more with less in every workplace. This is nothing new. It’s been happening for years, but it seems to be on the rise again. This concept isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a pervasive issue with the potential to spark significant frustration and anger, leading to a cycle of ever-increasing demands that, at times, can seem almost insurmountable. 

Expectation escalation occurs when there’s a continuous increase in what is expected of us without the corresponding support, resources, or recognition. Imagine starting a new job, project, or role with a certain set of expectations. Gradually, more tasks are added to your plate, each new project more complex than the last, with tighter deadlines and higher stakes. The cycle begins innocently enough–a testament to your capabilities and trustworthiness. However, as this pattern persists, the balance between challenge and support starts to skew.

The issue here isn’t the challenge itself. Most professionals thrive on challenges; they foster growth, learning, and satisfaction with our work. The crux of the problem lies in the absence of stability. Without the necessary resources, clarity, or systems in place to manage these challenges effectively, what was once a motivating work environment can quickly become a source of constant stress and frustration.

The expectations put upon you in the workplace is akin to a snowball rolling downhill, gaining size and momentum as it goes. Initially, taking on extra projects or responsibilities can feel empowering. It’s a sign of trust from management and framed as an opportunity for professional growth. However, as new tasks keep piling on, without the removal or completion of older ones, the workload can soon become unmanageable, leaving you feeling like you’re somehow not up to the demands of the job. This constant accumulation is often coupled with the introduction of new systems or processes intended to improve efficiency, but instead just seems to add to the chaos. 

This cycle is propelled by the notion that ‘this is normal’ or ‘just part of the job’, but when the trend continues unabated, it can lead to feelings of intense frustration, where you start believing that it’s you that’s unable to cope, rather than seeing that you are being asked to do the impossible. 

We find ourselves stretched too thin, battling the unfairness of an unmanageable workload without the necessary support to complete anything to the level of quality we know it deserves. What makes it worse is seeing an unequal distribution of tasks where the high performers are unfairly overloaded while others seem to be given a pass, time and time again.

Letting expectation escalation go unchecked can have dire consequences on both personal and professional fronts. The immediate effects are often emotional–feelings of being overburdened, undervalued, and frustrated with the lack of resources and clarity. This emotional turmoil isn’t just a fleeting state; it can lead to tangible impacts on work quality and the ability to problem-solve. 

Anger becomes a natural response to this imbalance. The lack of stability and support turns what could be exciting challenges into sources of resentment, often directed at managers or the organization as a whole. This anger is not only detrimental to professional relationships, but can also spill over into our personal lives, affecting how we treat those closest to us. 

The constant pressure to perform under such conditions can lead to burnout–a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Burnout not only affects our health and happiness as an employee, but can also hurt the organization’s bottom line, leading to decreased productivity, increased absenteeism, and higher turnover rates. 

Addressing expectation escalation requires a proactive approach. It starts with recognizing the signs–feeling constantly overwhelmed, noticing a decline in effectiveness or job satisfaction, or experiencing frequent frustration or resentment directed towards those we work with. Once acknowledged, it’s important to make adjustments to improve the situation, but this tends to be something we can’t do all on our own so we need to find a way to communicate what we’re feeling to those in management. This isn’t about making a list of complaints, but rather about seeking solutions that can help rebalance the workload. Asking for additional resources, clarity on priorities, or assistance in streamlining processes are valid requests that can sometimes lead to meaningful changes. 

It’s also essential to learn the art of saying ‘no’ when necessary. This doesn’t mean refusing to take on new challenges, because that can leave a bad impression, but rather assessing which part of the new ‘ask’ can be accommodated, without negatively impacting our core responsibilities or personal well-being.

An important part of this is stating, in a positive manner, what we can do to help them out in this situation. Saying ‘no’ is about setting boundaries, communicating what is realistically manageable, and ensuring that the quality of our work doesn’t suffer for the sake of quantity. 

I used to think that I had to figure out a way to make it all happen whenever new tasks or projects were added to my already heavy workload. I thought, “They wouldn’t have asked me if they didn’t think I could do it”. Unfortunately, there was no truth in that assumption. No one really had a clear idea how much was actually already on my plate. It wasn’t until I learned the art of proactively stating which part I was willing to take on, that I was able to say ‘no’ to being constantly overburdened, without feeling guilty. I realized that they knew I would somehow make it all happen, so I was making it too easy for them to keep asking more of me, without considering the detrimental impact it was having on my psyche. 

If you let it, the bar for what’s expected can rise indefinitely. It’s like running a race where the finish line keeps moving further away, just as you’re about to cross it. Expectation escalation can leave us feeling as though we’re in a constant state of catch-up, leading to frustration, resentment, and even despair if not managed effectively. Yet, fear not. There are strategies and techniques that can help us navigate these challenges while keeping our sanity intact. It is possible to maintain your professionalism and still say, “No, thank you”. 

Let’s explore three key strategies for managing expectation escalation:

1. Recognize your limits and communicate them
2. Master the art of saying ‘no’ gracefully
3. Prepare a few pocket phrases

1. Recognize Your Limits and Communicate Them

The first step in managing expectation escalation is acknowledging you have limits. It’s essential to have a clear understanding of your workload, your capacity, and the point at which taking on more will compromise the quality of your work or negatively impact your well-being. Recognizing your limits isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a crucial component of professional growth and sustainability. It’s not that you can’t cope, it’s that what’s being asked of you is unreasonable. That’s an important difference to acknowledge. 

Once you’re aware of your limits, the challenge becomes communicating them effectively. This is where the art of saying ‘no’ with tact and professionalism comes into play. It’s crucial to approach these conversations with a positive, solutions-focused mindset. For instance, instead of outright rejecting additional work, try framing it as a prioritization challenge: “I’m currently focusing on these projects or tasks to ensure they are completed to our high standards. Could we discuss my priorities and where this new task fits in relative to my current workload?” See, you are not saying ‘no’, but you’re asking them to help you decide what takes priority. 

2. Master the Art of Saying ‘No’ Gracefully

Saying ‘no’ is’ an art form, especially in a professional setting where you’re keen on maintaining relationships and a professional reputation. There are a couple of situations where saying ‘no’ is not only appropriate but necessary: 

• before your primary job responsibilities suffer, and 
• when it’s someone else’s work. 

If a new request threatens to prevent you from performing your core responsibilities effectively, it’s time to draw a line or have someone else reprioritize your work for you. So, instead of a flat out ‘no’ that can have far reaching negative repercussions, explain the situation: “Taking on this project would mean risking the quality and timeliness of this current project which, as I understand it, is currently my top priority. Can we explore other ways to get this done or possibly revisit the timeline?” 

If you find yourself being asked to pick up slack that’s clearly outside of your job description and detracting from your primary responsibilities, it’s reasonable to push back. A professional way to handle this could be: “I understand the importance of this new task, but my current priorities have been determined by [my immediate supervisor]. Perhaps we could look at redistributing this task to [someone] whose skills and current workload align more closely with its requirements?”. 

3. Prepare a Few Pocket Phrases

Preparation is key when it comes to declining additional responsibilities. Having a set of pocket phrases can help you respond quickly and professionally, without being caught off guard. These phrases can be tailored to different situations but should always aim to communicate your reasoning clearly and maintain positive relationships. 

Here are a few examples: 

• When you’ve reached your capacity: “I’m flattered you thought of me for this, but I must be mindful of my current commitments to ensure I’m delivering my best work across the board.” 
• For unrealistic timeframes: “Given my current workload, I won’t be able to deliver the quality of work expected in that timeframe. Could we discuss adjusting the deadline?” 
• When the work is beyond your expertise: “I appreciate your confidence in me, but I believe that [someone else] has the specific expertise to deliver better results for this task. I’m happy to support them in any way I can.” 

The important thing is to plan the appropriate phrasing in advance so it feels natural and sounds like you. Then, memorize these responses so they roll off your tongue smoothly in the moment, because even the slightest hesitation will leave the door open for them to ask again in a slightly different way in order to achieve their aims.

While implementing these strategies, it’s also crucial to manage any frustration that arises from feeling overburdened or having to say ‘no’. Here are a few techniques: 

1. Take a breath: Before responding to a request or situation that adds to your frustration, take a moment to breathe. This simple act of taking a pause can help you approach the situation more calmly and think more clearly so you don’t say something you’ll later regret.
2. Seek perspective: Talk to a mentor or trusted colleague. Sometimes, just voicing your frustrations can help you see the situation from a new angle and discover a path forward you hadn’t considered. It’s about being open to a new perspective, not just venting for the sake of venting. 
3. Prioritize self-care: Managing frustration also means taking care of your mental and physical well-being. Ensure you’re allocating time for activities that help you unwind and recharge because everything is easier to handle when you’re well-rested. 

Managing expectation escalation in the workplace requires a delicate balance of self-awareness, clear communication, and strategic refusal as a form of self-protection. By recognizing your limits, mastering the art of saying ‘no’ gracefully, and having a few prepared responses for unreasonable requests, you can maintain control over your workload while protecting your professional integrity. Remember, saying ‘no’ to additional responsibilities doesn’t need to be guilt-provoking; it’s a strategic decision to ensure you can deliver your best work where it matters most. 

One of the most crucial transitions professionals face is moving from the mindset of “I need to do it all”, to “we’re in this together”. This shift is not merely about workload distribution; it’s a profound change in perspective that underscores a fundamental principle of effective leadership–ensuring that work is done through delegation and empowerment, rather than bearing the entire burden yourself. 

It starts by shifting your mindset from individual contributor, to managing the work, where you recognize the value of your team. Every member brings a unique set of skills and perspectives. Recognizing and valuing these can transform the way you approach the tasks assigned. It’s about playing to each person’s strengths and motivating them to contribute their best.

Delegation requires trust. It’s about letting go of the reins and trusting your team to deliver. Yes, this can be daunting, especially if you’re accustomed to controlling every detail. However, trust fosters a sense of ownership and responsibility among your team members, leading to higher engagement and productivity. 

Delegating empowers your team by providing them with the resources, guidance, and autonomy they need to succeed. This doesn’t mean leaving them to figure it all out alone, but rather providing a safety net while they navigate their way through their increased responsibilities. 

It’s important to recognize that delegation is a two-way street. It offers learning opportunities not just for your team, but for you as well. Regular feedback sessions can help you and your team grow and improve together. The time you spend training others to do what you’ve mastered will pay off in the long-run by freeing you up to take on more interesting challenges.

Being dedicated and hardworking is commendable, but it’s important to recognize when these qualities are being exploited. Perhaps a few of these sound familiar: 

• Consistently working overtime: where your workday often extends beyond the norm without compensation or acknowledgement. That’s a huge red flag. 
• Your job role keeps expanding: where you keep being asked to take on tasks that fall significantly outside of your job description without a corresponding increase in pay or title.
• Lack of recognition: where your contributions are consistently overlooked and the credit is given to others. 
• No growth opportunities: where you’re being loaded with work but you see no path for advancement or a lack of skill development because the work is just more of the same.
• Decisions are being made without you: where you feel that you’re being sidelined in decisions that affect your work or your projects.
• Feedback falls on deaf ears: where your concerns and suggestions are consistently ignored. 

Feeling undervalued can be demoralizing. One thing you can do is to proactively ask for feedback on your performance from those you work with on a regular basis. This can provide insights into where you stand and open up discussions for increasing your visibility and taking advantage of possible growth opportunities. Keep a record of your contributions and achievements. This can be a powerful tool during performance reviews or discussions about your role and compensation. 

But if things don’t improve, consider whether it might be time to have an open conversation with your supervisor about your feelings and provide examples of situations where you feel your contributions may have been overlooked or you’re feeling undervalued. This can be a difficult conversation to have. This isn’t about making accusations or demands, but seeking a constructive way forward. Keep in mind that sometimes, despite your best efforts, the situation may not improve. 

In that case, here are triggers that it might be time to consider new opportunities: 

• Persistent feeling of stagnation: where it seems like there’s no room for growth or learning, so staying may not benefit your career in the long-run.
• Values mismanagement: where the organization’s values drastically diverge from your own, so it makes it challenging to find fulfillment in your work. 
• Health and well-being that are at risk: where the job is starting to affect your physical or mental health, then it’s a clear sign to reassess your situation. 

For anyone currently experiencing expectation escalation in their workplace, remember, empowerment starts with you. Recognize your value, communicate your needs clearly, and don’t shy away from setting boundaries to protect your well-being and professional integrity. Sometimes, the bravest decision you can make for your career and well-being is to seek new horizons where your contributions will be recognized and your growth nurtured. 

Remember, the goal is not just to be successful, but to thrive while helping others do the same.

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Keeping Things Manageable at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and seventeen.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.