Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and thirty-seven. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Change. It’s a word that carries a lot of weight, especially when it comes to our careers. We all have the power to change our career trajectories, but making significant career moves, particularly in male-dominated professions, is anything but easy. It requires more than just ambition; it demands intention, perseverance, and a willingness to embrace the messy, non-linear reality of doing things differently. For those of us who are navigating these challenging environments, understanding the complexities of change is essential to get ahead. 

In this episode, we explore what it takes to steer your professional life in an exciting new direction of your choosing. Advancing your career sometimes means facing systemic challenges like bias, lack of support, and fewer opportunities for recognition. And, these external roadblocks are only part of the equation. Internal obstacles like self-doubt, fear of judgment, and the seductive pull of familiarity can hold us back just as much. Yet, despite these challenges, the ability to change is within our grasp. 

Anyone who has ever tried to make a significant change in their career knows that the reality is far more complex. Change is hard, messy, and rarely follows a straight path. But, while change is tough, it’s also incredibly powerful. And, if we can harness that power, we can transform our careers, even in the most challenging environments. 

We all have the power to change. Yes, even you, sitting there thinking about how stuck you feel in your current job. Believe me, I’ve been there. I know what you’re going through. Change isn’t just something that happens to us, it’s something we must actively pursue. And, there’s real power in making a change. It’s not just about moving from point A to point B; it’s about taking control of your career and steering it in the direction you want it to go. 

Change is often necessary to overcome the barriers we inevitably face in trying to move ahead. But, recognizing the need for change and actually making that change are two very different things. It’s easy to tell someone else, “You should change your career”. It’s much harder to actually do it ourselves. 

Whether it’s a major career move or something as seemingly simple as trying to build a new habit, change is rarely straightforward. It doesn’t happen in a neat, linear fashion, and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight. The road to change is full of obstacles, detours, and unexpected roadblocks, so we need to find the workarounds. 

The reality is that making the changes we want requires intention, perseverance, and a willingness to embrace the messiness of it all. Understanding the complexities of change can help us navigate it more effectively. 

The Stages of Change Model, also known as the Transtheoretical Model, originally developed in the early 1980s within a clinical context to describe the processes of behavior change for addictive behaviors, has really helped me understand my own experience through making significant changes in my life. The six stages of change – precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and relapse – provide a framework for understanding where we are in the process and what we need to do next, although it’s not necessarily linear and you might find yourself in multiple stages all at the same time. So, let’s look at these stages a little more closely: 

1. Precontemplation: At this stage, you might not even be aware that a change is needed. You’re cruising along, not quite happy, but not yet ready to admit that something needs to shift. 
2. Contemplation: Here, you start to think about making a change. You weigh the pros and cons, but you’re still not ready to take action. This is where a lot of us get stuck, especially when the risks of doing things differently seem to outweigh the potential benefits. 
3. Preparation: You’ve made the decision to change and now you’re planning your next steps. This might involve researching new roles, updating your resume, or simply psyching yourself up to have that tough conversation with your boss.
4. Action: You’ve taken the plunge and started making the change. You’re doing it! Maybe you’ve switched jobs, asked for a promotion, or started a new habit. It’s exciting, and it’s also where the hard work really begins. 
5. Maintenance: Now that you’ve made the change, the challenge is keeping it going. It’s easy to slip back into old habits or second-guess your decisions, especially when the going gets tough.
6. Relapse: This is the part we don’t like to talk about. Just when we thought we’d made progress, we relapse. But change isn’t a straight line and setbacks are a natural part of the process. The key is not to let a relapse turn into a full-blown regression. 

One of the reasons change is so difficult is because of the misconceptions that surround it. How many times have you heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit? Or maybe it’s 28 days? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but research has debunked that myth. The truth is, the time it takes to form a new habit or make a change varies depending on the complexity of the change and your level of commitment. 

For some, it might take just one day to start a new habit that feels good and is easy to stick with, as long as you remember to keep doing it. But for others, especially when it comes to significant career changes, it might take a whole year or more to make that shift. And that’s okay. Some things are easier to change than others. Some changes we stubbornly resist, while others we’re completely committed to seeing through. The important thing is to keep moving forward, even when the going gets tough. 

It’s important that we expect to encounter resistance or pushback when we try to shake things up. And, when you consider how hard it is to make a change for ourselves that we want to make, why is it that we think we can somehow change the way other people behave, just because we want them to? All I can say is stop thinking you can change other people. Sure, you can try, but it’s virtually impossible to make someone else change if they’re not willing to do the work themselves.

Instead of wasting your energy trying to change others, focus on what you can control – your own actions, decisions, and mindset. When you stop trying to change others and start focusing on your own growth and development, you’ll find that you have a lot more power than you may have realized. 

So, maybe you’ve been thinking about making a change in your career. Maybe it’s a new role you’d like to take on, a shift in how you approach your current job, or even making yourself more visible in order to get the recognition you know you deserve. But, here’s the thing – change isn’t as simple as snapping your fingers and suddenly transforming into the confident, unstoppable force you know you can be. 

Change is a process, and like any good process, it happens in stages. So, if you’re serious about making that change, it’s time to dig a little deeper into those stages again and what they really mean for you: 

1. Precontemplation (also known as the ‘not my problem’ stage): This is the stage where you’re not yet convinced that anything needs to change. Maybe you’re not seeing the results you want in your career, but you’re telling yourself it’s not that bad. After all, everyone else seems to be dealing with the same issues, right? If it’s not affecting you right now, why should you put in the effort to change?

This stage can be a bit of a trap, especially in male-dominated professions where the status quo might start to feel comfortable. You might even find yourself working harder to maintain the behaviors that aren’t serving you, simply because the idea of change feels too daunting. But, just because you’re not ready to admit that a change is needed, doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. The more you ignore the signs, the harder it might be to make the shift when the time comes.

1. Contemplation (also known as the ‘maybe I should do something’ stage): This is the stage where you start thinking that maybe, just maybe, there’s something that does need to change. You’re weighing the pros and cons, but you’re still not fully convinced you should take action. After all, what if you stand out too much? What if you demand more and it backfires? What if you put in all that effort and nothing is really all that different? 

This is where many of us get stuck, especially in environments where sticking your neck out can feel risky. You might have fleeting moments of wanting to do something different, but those doubts creep in, making you question whether it’s worth the effort. The truth is, it’s normal to feel ambivalent about taking action, especially when the stakes are high. But remember, contemplation is just a stage. It’s not where you have to stay forever. 

1. Preparation (also known as the ‘let’s get a plan together’ stage): This is where you start planning your next steps, once you’ve decided that change is necessary. Maybe you’re seeking out mentors, upskilling or redefining your career goals. Whatever it is, this stage is all about getting your ducks in a row before you take the plunge. 

But, here’s where things can get tricky. Some people want a step-by-step plan laid out for them, but what worked for someone else might not work for you in the same way. Each situation is unique, and sometimes you’ve just got to trust that you’ll figure it out as you go along. The key here is to focus on your next step. You don’t need to have the entire journey mapped out – just know where you’re going next. 

1. Action (also known as the ‘time to make a move’ stage): This is where you’re actually doing something to work towards your goal. Maybe you’ve started putting in the work to make your efforts visible, aligning yourself with team and organizational goals, or even taking the leap to apply for that new position. Whatever it is, you’re no longer just thinking about change – you’re making it happen. 

But, this is also the stage where the hard work really begins. You might encounter obstacles, pushback, or even moments of doubt, but the important thing is you’re taking tangible steps forward. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. Keep problem-solving, keep pushing, and keep your eyes on the prize. 

1. Maintenance (also known as the ‘keep it going’ stage): This is where you’ve made some changes and the real test begins. It’s one thing to make a short-term change; it’s another to sustain it over the long haul. You’ll need to dig deep and find ways to keep the momentum going, even when life gets stressful, your support system changes, or you encounter new obstacles. 

Maintaining your change can be challenging because it requires ongoing effort. It’s easy to fall back into old habits, especially when things get tough. But, the key here is resilience. It’s about finding strategies that work for you, staying adaptable, and not letting setbacks derail your progress. 

1. Relapse (also known as the ‘oops, I did it again’ stage): This is the stage that nobody likes to talk about, but everyone experiences. Very few changes are ever made without some kind of relapse. Maybe you’ve lost your motivation, stopped taking action, or picked up a counterproductive habit that’s making it harder to maintain the changes you’ve begun. It might even feel like you have to start all over again. 

But remember, having a relapse doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s just part of the process. Change isn’t a straight line, and setbacks are inevitable. The important thing is how you respond to those setbacks. Do you let them knock you off-course completely, or do you use them as an opportunity to reassess, recalibrate, and keep moving forward? Resilience will be your secret weapon, because it’s not about never falling down; it’s about getting back up every time you do. 

The power of change lies in your ability to navigate these stages with intention and perseverance. In our careers, the challenges can feel insurmountable. It’s easy to feel like the odds are stacked against you. But, by understanding the complexities of change and embracing the process, you can take control of your career trajectory and move it in the direction you want it to go. 

It sounds so simple in theory – just make a change, right? But anyone who’s actually tried to pivot their careers knows that change is anything but simple. In truth, it’s hard, it’s messy, and it certainly doesn’t happen in the way you’ve planned. It’s not some neat and tidy process where you set a goal, make a plan, and smoothly sail towards your new reality. No, change is more like navigating a labyrinth with no clear exit in sight. You’ll hit dead ends, take wrong turns, and probably find yourself back where you started more than once.

But, that doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. Setbacks are part of the process, not a sign that something has gone wrong. Because, some changes demand more from us. They require us to step out of our comfort zones, challenge deeply held beliefs, and face fears we’ve been avoiding for years. 

So, how do you keep the momentum going through all these stages? Here are four strategies to help you navigate change, embrace the messiness, and maintain your progress:

1. Identify one change to focus on: Instead of trying to change everything at once, pick one area of your career to focus on. This helps you channel your energy and make more significant progress in one area, before moving on to the next. 
2. Small steps lead to big results: Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to tackle everything at once. Break your goal into smaller, manageable steps. Each small win builds momentum and keeps you moving forward.
3. Stay flexible and adaptable: Change doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and life will inevitably throw unexpected challenges your way. Stay flexible, adapt your plans as needed, and don’t be afraid to reassess your goals. 
4. Celebrate your progress: Recognize the hard work you’ve put in and how far you’ve come. Whether it’s a small step forward or a major milestone, celebrating your successes helps reinforce positive behavior and keep you motivated.

So, as you think about the change you want to make in your career, remember that it’s okay to struggle, to face setbacks, and to feel like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back. That’s all part of the process. The important thing is to keep moving forward, no matter how messy the journey might be. After all, just because progress doesn’t happen as quickly as you’d like, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

One thing that people often don’t realize is that change, particularly when it comes to significant career moves, is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of adaptation and resilience. Many people think that once they’ve made a bold move or taken a major step, the hard part is over. 

However, the truth is that the real challenge lies in continuously adapting to new obstacles, refining your strategies, and maintaining your momentum over time. The initial decision to change is just the beginning; sustaining that change requires constant effort, flexibility, and an understanding that setbacks are not failures, but rather integral parts of the journey. 

So, don’t shy away from the process. Lean into it. Recognize that each stage has its own challenges and rewards. And most importantly, remember that you have the power to make the changes you want to see in your career. It’s not going to be easy, and there will be times when you’ll question whether it’s worth it. But, with perseverance and resilience, you’ll get there. 

And when you do, you’ll look back and realize that every step of the journey was worth it. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Embracing the Power of Change at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and thirty-seven.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.