Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and thirty-six. I’m your host Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

We all have that little voice in our heads – the one that whispers doubts, fans the flames of fear, and crafts the most convincing excuses to keep us from stepping into the career spotlight. It’s that voice that tells us we’re not ready, that the risks are way too high, or that it’s safer to stay where we are. But, let’s be honest, those excuses, as comforting as they might feel in the moment, are nothing more than self-imposed barriers that hold us back from reaching our full potential. The truth is, our fears and doubts are a natural part of the human experience, but they don’t have to dictate our professional lives.

In this episode, we delve into how to unmask these excuses, confront our fears head-on, and empower ourselves to take bold steps toward our career aspirations. It’s time to challenge those excuses, push past our comfort zones, and confidently step into the roles we were meant to play in the workplace. 

Stepping into the career spotlight isn’t just about chasing success; it’s about embracing our unique strengths, experiences, and ambitions, and having the courage to let them shine. Yet, so many of us hold back, paralyzed by the fear of failure, judgment, or the unknown. We convince ourselves that we’re not ready or that we don’t have what it takes, turning reasonable concerns into unreasonable roadblocks. But, here’s the reality: our dreams are valid, our aspirations are achievable, and the only thing standing in our way is our own mindset. 

We all make excuses. Whether it’s dodging the gym, avoiding the difficult conversation, or most notably, sidestepping our career aspirations, we’re all guilty of it. But, these excuses are nothing more than self-imposed barriers that keep us from the recognition we secretly crave. The thing is, we all have fears, doubts, and the occasional bout of imposter syndrome. But, it’s time to stop letting these excuses dictate the trajectory of our careers. Instead, let’s confront them head-on, dismantle them, and empower ourselves to reach our full potential. Sounds daunting, doesn’t it? It should, because growth doesn’t happen without feeling a bit uncomfortable. 

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a laundry list of reasons why they’re not pursuing their career goals. Maybe you’re waiting for the perfect moment, or perhaps you’ve been told so many times that you’re just not ready, that you’ve begun to believe it. But, there’s never going to be a perfect moment, and you’re never going to feel completely ready. We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that someday, when the stars align, we’ll finally take that leap. But “someday” is a mirage, an ever-elusive destination that keeps moving further away, the closer you think you’re getting. 

There’s the classic excuse, “I just don’t have time”. Sure, you’re busy. We all are. But, if we’re honest, finding time is about making it a priority. If binge-watching the latest Netflix series has taken precedence over your career aspirations, maybe it’s time to reevaluate those priorities. Because making time for what truly matters will require you to sacrifice other activities. And yes, that includes your downtime. It’s uncomfortable, but so is staying stuck in a job that drains the life out of you. Believe me, I’ve been there. 

It requires a hefty dose of self-awareness to recognize these excuses for what they are – nothing more than self-sabotage in disguise. You’ve got to be brutally honest with yourself about why you’re avoiding the spotlight. Are you afraid of failure? Scared of what others might think? Maybe you’re worried that you’re just not good enough. The more real you get with yourself about these fears, the more they’ll start to pop up. It’s like opening Pandora’s box, but instead of releasing all the evils of the world, you’re just releasing your own insecurities. Sounds like fun, right? 

But here’s the thing: you can’t dismantle what you don’t acknowledge. Recognizing your excuses is the first step toward confronting them. It’s like shining a flashlight in a dark room – once you see what’s really there, it’s not nearly as scary as it seemed. Sure, self-awareness isn’t going to magically make your fears disappear, but it will give you the clarity you need to start dismantling those self-imposed barriers. And that’s where the real growth happens. 

There is power in understanding and embracing your true motivations. Why do you want to make a change? What’s driving you toward that career goal? It’s not about having the best strategy in the world; it’s about having a really compelling reason that can overshadow your fears and worries. The truth is, you’ll never eliminate your fears entirely, but you can choose to let your motivations drive your actions, instead of your anxieties. 

There is fear in the unknown. So, no matter how frustrating, overwhelming, soul-sucking, or depleting your current job may feel, it is a known situation. And, as much as we might complain about it, there’s a certain comfort in the familiar. The unknown, on the other hand, is terrifying. What if you take a leap and fall flat on your face? What if you make a change and end up in an even worse situation? These are the fears that keep us stuck in a holding pattern, waiting for that mythical “someday” when everything will magically align and we’ll feel ready to pursue our dreams.

But, what if “someday” isn’t coming? The only way to move forward is by making your “why” bigger than your worries and choosing to step into the unknown, even when it feels scary. The future is always uncertain, but that’s no reason to stay stuck in a situation that’s just not the best fit for you. You don’t need anyone’s permission to start, and there’s no right way to do it. The only wrong move is not making one at all. 

One of the biggest barriers keeping us from advancing in our careers is self-doubt. So many people feel that they don’t have what it takes to be successful, leading to a pervasive sense of not being good enough or talented enough. And, it’s hard to fully believe in your abilities when it feels like the people whose opinions matter – like those making the promotion decisions – don’t seem to believe in you either.

But, maybe it’s time to consider that those doubts might just be excuses in disguise. They’re the stories you tell yourself to justify playing small, to avoid taking risks, and to protect yourself from potential failure. But guess what? You don’t need anyone else’s approval to pursue your goals. You are the only one who can decide if you’re good enough, and the only way to prove that to yourself is by taking action. You’ll never know what you’re truly capable of unless you stop letting self-doubt hold you back. 

We have all been there – sitting at our desks, daydreaming about a more fulfilling career, yet somehow finding a thousand reasons why now isn’t the right time to make a move. Maybe that’s where you are right now. If you’re nodding your head, you’re not alone. The truth is, we all have fears that keep us tethered to our current situation, and we’ve all become experts at crafting excuses that protect us from stepping into the unknown. But, these excuses aren’t just harmless little lies we tell ourselves to feel better. They’re self-imposed barriers that keep us from going after what we want. 

It’s time to call them out for what they are. Maybe some of these four common excuses sound familiar to you: 

Excuse #1: Comfort in Familiarity Over Risks in the Unknown. 

It’s “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t”, right? I’ve heard that come out of my own mouth more than once when I was really just scared to try something new or more challenging. Sure, staying in a familiar job, even if it is soul-sucking, feels safe. But let’s not kid ourselves: the devil you know is still, well, not fun. The comfort of familiarity is one of the biggest traps we fall into, because it tricks us into believing that staying where we are is the best option. It’s easy to convince ourselves that the risks of pursuing something new are just too high. But deep down, we know that comfort zones are where our career dreams go to die. 

The allure of staying in a familiar, albeit unfulfilling, job is strong because it’s known territory. But, our desire for security tricks us into believing that we don’t need more than what we’ve already gotten. Even when it’s blatantly obvious that we desire more – a better position, more challenging work, or a job that brings us joy – we hesitate. We’ve convinced ourselves that security is the ultimate goal, and in doing so, we don’t let people see all that we’re capable of. But what if, instead of clinging to comfort, we dared to push past it? A steady paycheck, a predictable routine, and a well-defined role – all of these things feel like they’re keeping us safe, but at what cost? 

Excuse #2: Fear of Rejection and Failure. 

Nobody likes rejection. It’s uncomfortable, it stings, and it’s a blow to our ego. But, the fear of rejection and failure is one of the most paralyzing excuses we use to keep ourselves from stepping up and showing them what we can do. We’re so afraid of sticking our necks out, of putting ourselves out there, and then crashing and burning, that we end up staying exactly where we are – stuck. 

But, what if we accept that rejection isn’t the enemy? It’s just feedback. And failure? It’s not a dead end; it’s just a detour. Shifting your perspective on rejection and failure is essential if you want to make any real progress in your career. Instead of seeing them as the end of the road, start viewing them as stepping stones on your path to success. After all, you can’t succeed without first learning what doesn’t work. It’s all good data. 

Excuse #3: Fear of Judgment and the Need for External Validation.

We live in a world where everyone seems to have an opinion, and we’re all a little too concerned about what others think of us, myself included. The fear of judgment and the need for external validation is another major excuse that keeps many of us from pursuing our career aspirations. We’re afraid that if we dare to want more, people will judge us. They’ll think we’re greedy, ungrateful, or just plain foolish for wanting something more or something different.

But here’s the thing: those opinions? They’re just noise. The only validation you need is your own. Focusing on building your self-confidence and becoming satisfied with self-validation – even if it goes against societal expectations – is crucial. Yes, it’s scary to go against the status quo, but if you’re constantly seeking approval from others, you’ll never be truly satisfied. At some point, you have to decide that your dreams and ambitions are worth pursuing, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Excuse #4: Waiting for the perfect moment. 

We all love to convince ourselves that we’re just waiting for the right moment to pursue our dreams. It’s the classic, “I’ll do it when…” excuse. You know, when things are calmer, when we have more time, or when we’re more prepared. There is no such thing as the perfect moment. Life is messy, chaotic, and unpredictable. And frankly, I don’t know if it’ll ever really slow down for many of us. But, if you’re waiting for everything to line up perfectly before you make a move, you’ll be waiting forever. 

Recognizing when you’ve outgrown your current situation is key. When you’ve hit that point, it’s time to courageously move towards something that feels more challenging and stretches you in some way. The perfect moment isn’t coming, so you might as well embrace the messiness of life and get started anyway. Action creates clarity, and the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll figure out where you’re headed.

So, how do you break free from these common excuses? Here are three tips to help you with that: 

1. Do a Self-Assessment
2. Take the First Step
3. Make it About Others

It starts with really understanding yourself. Are you staying in your current job because it’s truly fulfilling, or because it’s comfortable? Are you suppressing your ambitions because you’re genuinely content, or because you’re afraid of what others might think? These are tough questions, but they’re necessary if you want to make any real progress. 

Next, take small steps toward your goal. You don’t need to have the perfect career plan from the start. In fact, you don’t really need a plan at all, just a general direction. Getting started will lead to more clarity on where to go next. And remember, the journey is just as important as the destination. Embrace the process, be willing to learn and grow, and don’t be afraid to fail. Every misstep is an opportunity to learn, and every rejection is a chance to refine your approach.

Finally, shift your focus from self-pity or fear of embarrassing yourself, to serving others. How can your career aspirations help someone else? How can you use your experiences, both good and bad, to mentor and guide those who are following in your footsteps? When you start to view your career journey as a way to serve others, the fear of failure and judgment starts to fade. It’s not just about you anymore – it’s about the impact you can have on the world. 

We’re all pretty good at making excuses. We’ve all honed this skill over the years, turning what could be reasonable, logical questions into full-blown, unreasonable concerns that stop us dead in our tracks. It’s almost like we’re afraid that if we actually went after what we really want, the world might realize we don’t have it all figured out. But remember, nobody does. 

You know those big, audacious goals you’ve been keeping tucked away in the back of your mind because they seem too far-fetched or unrealistic? I’m here to tell you that your dreams are valid. They’re not just some whimsical ideas you came up with on a particularly boring day at work. They’re reflections of your deepest desires and aspirations. And guess what? They’re achievable. And those excuses? Well, they’re nothing more than smoke and mirrors. 

But, achieving your goals and dreams requires one crucial thing: courage. The courage to step into the spotlight, to put yourself out there, and to pursue what you truly want, despite the fears and judgment that might come your way. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, people might judge you. But, here’s the thing: they’re going to judge you regardless, but their judgment doesn’t define you, and it certainly doesn’t have the power to dictate your success. The only thing that can hold you back is you. So, it’s time to unmask those excuses and take that bold step toward turning your “why” into reality. 

It’s natural to have questions when you’re contemplating a big career move. After all, we’re talking about your future. Questions like, “Do I have the right skills?” or “Can I balance this with my other responsibilities?” are entirely reasonable. But, those reasonable questions can morph into unreasonable concerns if you’re not careful. Suddenly, “Do I have the right skills?” becomes “I’ll never be good enough”, and “Can I balance this?” turns into “I’m doomed to fail”. 

It’s a slippery slope, and before you know it, you’re paralyzed by fear, using these concerns as excuses to stay put. Those unreasonable concerns are just your mind’s way of keeping you in your comfort zone. They’re not grounded in reality – they’re rooted in fear. The only way to move past them is to recognize them for what they are: excuses. 

So, instead of letting those concerns hold you back, flip the script. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”, followed by, “How would I handle it if it did happen?”, and then counter with, “What’s the best that could happen?”. You might just find that the potential for success far outweighs the risks.

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we don’t have anything special to offer. We look around and see other people who seem to have it all together, and we convince ourselves that we can never measure up. But, here’s what you need to remember: your unique perspective and experiences are exactly what make you stand out in your field. Nobody else has walked the same path as you, and nobody else can bring the same insights and ideas to the table.

So, instead of focusing on what you think you lack, start recognizing the value of what you have. Your experiences, both good and bad, have shaped you into the person you are today, and they’ve equipped you with a unique set of skills and knowledge that no one else possesses. That’s your superpower. And when you start to see yourself as the expert you are, you’ll find that the spotlight isn’t as intimidating as it seems. In fact, it’s exactly where you belong. 

Remember, fear is often an exaggeration. The fears and doubts that hold us back are usually amplified versions of reality. We often imagine worst-case scenarios that are unlikely to happen, allowing those exaggerated fears to keep us from pursuing our goals. 

We tend to catastrophize, imagining that if we take a risk, everything will go wrong, when in fact, the outcomes are often far more manageable or even positive. Understanding that our minds naturally exaggerate these fears can be a game-changer, allowing us to see our excuses for what they really are, protective mechanisms that, while well-intentioned, are ultimately holding us back from realizing our full potential. Recognizing that these fears are more about our assumptions than actual risks can help us push past them. 

So, what’s it going to be? Will you keep hiding behind your excuses, or will you go after what you want and embrace your full potential? The choice is yours. Because the only thing standing between you and your dreams is the story you’ve been telling yourself. It’s time to change the narrative, stop making excuses, and take that leap. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Eliminating Your Excuses at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and thirty-six.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.