Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and thirty-one. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

In our achievement-oriented world, it’s all too easy to fall prey to the arrival fallacy – the seductive belief that once we reach a certain milestone in our careers, be it a specific title, salary, or have a major role in a prestigious project, everything will magically fall into place and perpetual happiness will follow. This myth encourages a singular focus on the destination, glossing over the vast array of rich experiences that form the journey. 

In this episode, we explore the realization that real fulfillment and professional growth aren’t packaged and delivered only at the culmination of a goal. They’re cultivated through the trials, triumphs, and transformations that occur along the way. 

Shifting our focus from arriving at some far-off destination to embracing the process of getting there, requires a deliberate recalibration of our professional mindset. It’s about valuing continuous improvement over instant gratification, learning to find joy and value in the everyday grind, however hard that may be, and understanding that true mastery and satisfaction are the results of ongoing effort, not just the end result. 

In debunking the arrival fallacy, we empower ourselves to build a more resilient, adaptive, and fulfilling career path where the journey itself enriches us far more than any final destination could.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to be obsessed with the end result, the finish line, that moment of triumph when I can finally say, “I did it!”. But here’s the truth: that’s not where the magic happens. If we’re only sprinting from point A to point B, we’re missing out on the sometimes wild, messy, and wonderfully transformative journey in between. Focusing only on the end result can have real, not-so-great consequences.

When we do this, we run the risk of short-circuiting our growth. When recognition becomes the main goal, our work often becomes shallow, rushed, and frankly, lacking in quality. We might skip important steps, ignore crucial feedback, and miss opportunities to make it better. 

For me, I have to remind myself that there’s something magical about embracing the process itself. Putting more emphasis on the significance of the daily grind, be it drafting those follow-up emails, attending meetings, or ensuring the integration of our design work, can lead to much better results. This is because when we immerse ourselves in the process, we’re more present. We’re learning. Every little task becomes an opportunity to refine our skills, understand our craft, and, yes, even sometimes, fail publicly and spectacularly, only to rise from the ashes wiser than before. 

Embracing the day-to-day process of our work transforms our approach. It becomes self-fueling. When you love what you do, or at least find meaning in the routine, it sustains you. You’re not just chasing a fleeting moment of glory; you’re building a body of work, perhaps what some might call a legacy, a career that feels fulfilling. Imagine that! Work that actually fuels better work. It’s not just about reaching the pinnacle; it’s about becoming someone who can climb mountains, traverse valleys, and handle whatever else life throws your way. 

The impact of our narratives and beliefs in shaping our experiences cannot be overstated. What we tell ourselves about our work, our goals, and our paths in life influences how we think, feel, and act. If we believe that only the outcome matters, we set ourselves up for disappointment. After all, what happens the day after you achieve your goal? Is it all downhill from there? Instead, if we recognize that each step is part of a larger, ongoing journey, our day-to-day experiences become richer and more impactful.

So, why do we cling to this arrival fallacy? Perhaps, it’s because society loves a good success story. We idolize those who’ve “made it” without seeing the years of toil behind their supposed “overnight success”. Or maybe,  it’s just comforting to think that there’s a point at which everything becomes easy, or at least a little easier. 

But, think about it. The most successful people – the ones we truly admire – are often those who love the hustle just as much as they love the payoff. They’re the ones who are perpetually curious, constantly learning, and always ready to tackle the next challenge. They don’t see success as a final destination, but as a byproduct of their passion for their work. 

The arrival fallacy is this alluring idea that once we hit a certain milestone, we’ll be magically complete, our careers made, and our happiness guaranteed. But fixating on that magical destination of success is more likely to lead us astray. Instead, let’s consider that there is a far more rewarding path of getting better at your craft over time, rather than having to deal with the relentless pressure to reach a career peak as soon as possible. 

So, let’s break down these two contrasting mindsets: mastering your craft versus sprinting to success. 

• Mastering Your Craft: It’s about deepening your skills, knowledge, and understanding of your profession. It’s a marathon that involves attempting new things, possibly failing, learning and making adjustments, and persisting even when things don’t end up the way we’d hoped.
• Sprinting to Success: that’s the rush to the finish line before you’ve even had a chance to enjoy the journey. It often involves cutting corners, burning bridges, and quite possibly, burning out. 

While the mad dash to achieve success might earn the approval of some, the long, steady run builds a multitude of skills and experiences that far outweigh any extrinsic rewards. 

Now, how do we shift from this finish line frenzy to a mindset of continual improvement? Here are three tips to make that shift a little easier: 

1. Set Process Goals, Not Just Outcome Goals: Instead of setting your sights solely on landing that impressive job title, set goals related to the process of getting there. For instance, focus on improving your negotiation skills, learning more about your technical discipline, or mentoring a team member. These process goals not only contribute to your larger ambitions, but also keep you engaged and learning, which is what actually makes you better at what you do.
2. Celebrate the Wins and Learn from the Losses: In a world obsessed with big, disruptive successes, it’s vital to celebrate the small victories. Finished a complex project on time? Nailed a client presentation? These are milestones that deserve a pat on the back. Similarly, when things don’t go as planned, instead of spiraling into despair, use it as a learning opportunity. Every setback is a step forward if you learn something from it. This approach keeps you motivated and less likely to be discouraged by the bumps along the road. 
3. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on what you’ve learned and how far you’ve come. This can be through your own journaling or scheduling regular feedback sessions with mentors. Reflection helps you see the progress you’ve made and helps ensure your actions are aligned with your larger career goals. It’s easy to forget our achievements and the lessons learned, so make this a regular thing.

Embracing steady progress rather than immediate results is crucial in achieving long-term goals. This isn’t just about feeling good; it’s practical. Steady progress, like compound interest, builds upon itself. Skills stack up, experiences intertwine, and before you know it, you’re not just hitting your target metrics, you’re setting new ones because your capacity has expanded. This kind of growth is more sustainable and makes you more adaptable, which in today’s fast-changing world is worth its weight in gold.

Of course, committing to this steady progress isn’t always glamorous, especially when conditions are less than ideal. There will be days when the last thing you want to do is chip away at a long-term project or tune into yet another training webinar. It always amazes me how they seem to multiply when you’re not looking. 

Here’s where the real magic of commitment comes into play. Commitment means showing up even when it’s easier not to. It means doing the work even when you’re not in the spotlight. This is what separates the professionals from those who just want to beat the system. It’s easy to be enthusiastic when everything’s shiny and new or when the finish line is in sight. It’s far more challenging, and crucial, to keep pushing through the mundane middle part of the journey. 

What many of us don’t realize is that fixating solely on the final destination isn’t just unhelpful; it’s a good way to miss the whole point of your career journey. Instead, let’s focus more on getting better and how to master the art of steady progress. 

But, how do we make room for this deliberate, methodical progress when our lives are already packed with urgent tasks screaming for our attention? It starts by carving out time – yes, actually blocking out calendar slots – to focus on long-term development rather than just keeping up with the daily grind. This might look like dedicating Friday afternoons to learning new skills, reading industry news, or even reflecting on your career path. It’s about protecting your time fiercely and unapologetically to do this important work. 

However, it’s not just about setting aside time. We must also be keenly aware of the external forces at play and the numerous barriers that could be stalling our progress. Maybe it’s an unsupportive work environment or our own outdated beliefs about what we can achieve. Recognizing these forces isn’t about making excuses; it’s about being strategic. Knowledge is power, and understanding what you’re up against helps you navigate it more effectively.

Making this mindset shift toward engaging in steady progress requires being ready to pivot when roadblocks appear, because they will appear, sooner or later. And when they do, instead of slamming into them headfirst, we can learn to sidestep them gracefully or find a new path that takes you around them entirely. It’s not just about resilience; it’s about being agile and creative in our approach. 

Encountering a roadblock doesn’t mean your progress is halted; sometimes, it’s just a sign that it’s time to take a detour. Maybe the skills you’ve been honing aren’t as in demand anymore and it’s time to pivot toward learning something new. Or perhaps the industry you’ve been climbing the ladder in is undergoing a transformation, suggesting that your ladder might be leaning against the wrong wall. Pivoting doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re attentive to the changes that are taking place and adaptable – qualities that are essential in today’s evolving job market.

Too often, we let others – whether it’s managers, colleagues, or even society’s expectations – dictate what’s possible for us. It’s time we reclaimed our power to shape our own careers, regardless of external opinions or imposed limitations. Reclaiming your power means taking the reins of your career path, setting your own definition for success, assessing your progress on your terms, and most importantly, ensuring that your career decisions align with your values, goals, and life circumstances.

Here’s something to consider: what if we stopped asking for permission to pursue our career dreams? What if, instead, we just started making strategic moves toward them, no matter how unconventional or against the grain they might seem? This approach requires a blend of courage, independence, and a dash of audacity – qualities that every trailblazer in history has possessed. 

Every skill you develop, every relationship you nurture, and every challenge you overcome contributes to a stronger, more vibrant career vision. By focusing on steady progress, you weave these together in a deliberate way, creating a career journey that’s uniquely yours, not just a poor interpretation of someone else’s success story. 

Keep moving forward, keep adapting, and most importantly, keep wielding your power. Your career isn’t a series of destinations to reach – it’s a dynamic, ever evolving landscape that you have the power to shape. Enjoy the journey, relish the process, and never stop getting better. The best part? You get to define what “better” means for you. 

But remember, your career journey will not be all rainbows and sunshine. It helps to prepare yourself for what is often referred to as “post-achievement blues”, which is the subsequent decline in motivation once a long-anticipated goal is achieved. This can catch people off-guard because it contradicts the expected feelings of prolonged happiness and fulfillment that we think are supposed to follow success. Essentially, when the focus is entirely on achieving specific milestones, there’s a risk of constructing our emotional well-being and identity around those achievements. When these goals are finally reached, we might then find ourselves without clear direction, experiencing feelings of emptiness rather than satisfaction. 

By finding value in the day-to-day activities and the learning opportunities they present, we can build a more sustainable source of fulfillment and motivation. This approach not only helps in avoiding the disillusionment that can follow major accomplishments, but also encourages more engagement with our work, turning every step of the career journey into a rewarding experience in itself. 

The arrival fallacy suggests that achieving a specific goal will bring lasting happiness, but often that satisfaction is fleeting. Focusing on the process rather than just the outcome helps cultivate long-term fulfillment. This involves enjoying the journey, learning from each step, and finding value in the everyday tasks and challenges.

By prioritizing improvement and flexibility over a single achievement, we can stay relevant in our ever-evolving industries, which can ultimately lead to more significant achievements and a more exciting career path. 

If you find yourself fixating on the end point, remember, the real joy, growth and fulfillment lie in the process. After all, life is a process. Embrace the messy reality of doing the work because it’s where you truly come alive. 

In the end, the arrival fallacy is just that – a fallacy. Believing that a single point in time can define our success is not only misguided but also limits our potential. The truth is, success is not a destination, but a series of checkpoints in a lifelong journey of growth. By focusing on getting better every single day, we not only enhance our careers, but also enrich our lives. 

Embrace the process, cherish the learning, and let each step forward fuel the next. That’s the true path to a fulfilling and successful career. Trust me, it’s a lot more fun than racing to some imaginary finish line and then wondering what’s next once you get there. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Reshaping Your Career Outlook at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and thirty-one.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.