Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and eleven. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

In the pursuit of success, it’s a common belief that the end goal, the achievement of a long-sought dream, is the pinnacle of happiness and fulfillment. This notion suggests that once we reach our destination, be it a professional milestone, a personal achievement, or any form of success, our lives will inherently be better. However, this perspective overlooks a crucial component of happiness and fulfillment, the value of the journey itself. 

In this episode, we challenge the belief that achieving future success will be what makes us happy. I invite you to consider instead the importance of enjoying the process. Perhaps it’s more about recognizing our growth and who we are becoming while celebrating our efforts along the way. 

I’m all for setting and achieving goals. I think we can accomplish far more than we think we can when we push ourselves a little out of our comfort zone. But, there is a downside to reaching those goals we set for ourselves. The momentary euphoria of achievement can quickly give way to a sense of emptiness or a relentless pursuit of the next milestone, leading to a cycle of perpetual dissatisfaction that overshadows the joy found in the process of learning and overcoming challenges. 

In addition, the identity shifts that occur when we set and achieve our goals are significant, yet often underestimated. As we evolve, our desires, aspirations, and even our sense of self change, sometimes leaving us unprepared for the emotional and psychological adjustments required. 

Acknowledging when you’ve achieved a goal and taking a moment to pause and reflect is crucial. It allows us to appreciate the magnitude of our accomplishments, understand the journey, and recognize the person we’ve become in the process. Celebrating our achievements, no matter how small, reinforces our sense of self-worth and confidence, providing a well-deserved acknowledgement of our efforts and perseverance. 

The importance of being aware of these identity shifts cannot be overstated. As we set and achieve goals, we often undergo significant transformations. Recognizing and embracing these shifts is essential for not only our personal and professional growth, but also our future success. It’s not just about reaching the destination per se, but becoming the person capable of achieving such feats. This transformation is a powerful component of our journey towards success. 

Setting big, exciting goals fuels our motivation and challenges us to push beyond our limits. The anticipation and energy driven by fear and excitement in the early stages of pursuing a goal can be electrifying. This mix of emotions, coupled with a belief in our potential, propels us forward. It’s in these moments of uncertainty and anticipation that we often find the most joy and fulfillment.

The process of becoming the person who can achieve a significant level of success requires immense effort and dedication. Early in our careers, the hunger for success and the excitement about the possibilities that lie ahead can sometimes feel overwhelming. It’s crucial to understand that the energy and passion felt before achieving a goal can be as fulfilling, if not more so, than the achievement itself. 

As we achieve our goals, the journey does not end; it simply evolves. The anticipation, the promise, the hope, and the ambition that drives us toward our goals are valuable in themselves. They represent the essence of growth and potential. Not knowing what lies ahead is what leads to extraordinary achievements and personal transformations. 

I encourage you to take the time to enjoy the first part of your journey, to relish the uncertainty and the process of discovery. Often, we rush through this phase, eager to reach the end goal, without realizing that the journey itself is where we find the joy, learn valuable lessons, and build the confidence and skills necessary for what comes next. 

Acknowledging the growth and effort involved in pursuing a goal, even if it has not yet been achieved, is a really important part. This acknowledgement helps set new possibilities, altering our thought patterns, and changing how we feel about ourselves and what we believe is possible. 

Once a goal is achieved, taking time to reflect on the accomplishments, the challenges faced, and the lessons learned is vital. This reflection not only allows for a celebration of success, but also provides insights that can guide future endeavors. It’s about evaluating what worked as well as what didn’t, and how to apply these lessons moving forward.

It’s important to set goals that challenge and inspire us because it’s not merely about achieving an easy target, but about engaging in a process that fosters growth, resilience, and fulfillment. Remember, where you are now was once a dream, so that can help in keeping the journey in perspective, and encouraging gratitude and appreciation for how far you’ve come. 

Determination is a life skill that is pivotal in overcoming the challenges and obstacles that invariably block our way in achieving our aims. But it’s through this adversity that we get a clearer understanding of our capabilities, strengths, and future potential. Determination is not an innate trait, but it is a skill that can be consciously developed and refined over time, transforming our approach to life and the pursuit of success. 

The most successful career journeys are often punctuated by moments of doubt, failure, and adversity, although that may not be what someone wants to include in their highlight reel. But, it’s in these moments that determination becomes a beacon, guiding us through the uncertainty and ambiguity. 

Many of us fail to reach our goals not due to a lack of talent or opportunity, but because we give up too soon. Understanding that determination is not a fixed attribute, but a muscle that can be strengthened, is fundamental. It helps us see that the barriers we encounter are not an overwhelming force, but rather an empowering ally in our quest for achievement, by helping to make us stronger. 

Determination, for some, may evoke feelings of pride and empowerment, but for others it may seem more like a daunting, exhaustive challenge. Your perception of determination can significantly influence how you face the inevitable obstacles and whether you persist in your efforts. For me, determination has a bit of a negative spin, and I’m sure I’m not alone in that. So, embracing determination as a positive enriching force requires a bit of a mindset shift, recognizing it as a transformative tool that can significantly impact our lives. 

The journey to cultivating more determination begins with a commitment to face and embrace these roadblocks. Some of us are tempted to quit at the first sign of adversity, especially those who have experienced a seamless string of successes in life. In the real world, there are many uncertainties, and a successful career often emerges from a series of trials, errors, and yes, failures. It is unfortunate that our educational system discourages mistakes, fostering a fear of failure that follows us into adulthood. Yet, it’s through these very failures and the determination to persevere despite them that we grow and learn the most. 

Developing our determination requires facing this adversity rather than avoiding it at all cost. Without challenges, there’s little room for growth or development of fortitude. Determination is not just about the stubborn pursuit of a goal, but about the resilience to continue trying, to adapt and persevere despite difficulties. It’s about making the conscious decision to keep going, over and over, regardless of the barriers seemingly blocking our path. 

We tend to admire determination in others, recognizing the commitment and resilience required to achieve their goals. However, when we realize that they found some shortcut to success, that admiration often wanes. There’s inherent value in the struggle, in developing the mental toughness to continue when what we want seems so far out of reach. This process of enduring until success is achieved is where true determination is developed. 

Rushing through or being overly focused on the end result can detract from the value of the journey. True determination involves acknowledging the obstacles we have overcome, the effort we have expended, and the frustrations we have endured. Somehow, it feels very reassuring that something good comes from these experiences. They help us build a sense of confidence and accomplishment that is unparalleled. This helps make determination an invaluable asset as part of your toolkit for life. 

Becoming adept at determination involves a personal decision – a choice to continue striving towards your goals, regardless of the challenges. Make the decision to not quit. Keep in mind that this commitment does not preclude flexibility. In fact, a willingness to adapt and change is essential. What remains constant is the resolve to figure out a way to achieve what we set out to do. 

Determination often requires foregoing immediate gratification in favor of long-term satisfaction. It involves patience, persistence, and a focus on the bigger picture. The frustration of not achieving quick results or the impatience with the pace of progress tests our determination. Yet, it’s in these moments of doubt that we must remind ourselves that there’s value in the journey, not just the destination. 

Many harbor the belief that success or reaching a specific goal will transport them to a better place, a utopian state where everything is perfect. The reality, however, is that such places are figments of our imagination. It’s not better there than here. The true essence of our journey lies in overcoming the barriers, becoming who we are meant to be, and the realization of what we are truly capable of achieving. 

The journey towards our goals, with all its challenges and obstacles, offers unparalleled opportunities for growth, learning and self-discovery. It’s through overcoming these barriers that we discover new possibilities, maybe more than we ever imagined for ourselves. The pride and sense of achievement that come from staying committed, even when the path is difficult, are invaluable. 

An important aspect of nurturing determination is recognizing this need for flexibility. As I said, being determined does not mean stubbornly adhering to one path without considering alternatives. Instead, it involves a balanced approach where we remain committed to our end goal while being open to adjusting our strategies. This flexibility allows us to navigate through setbacks and find more effective ways to achieve our objectives, underscoring the idea that determination is not just about persistence, but also about adaptability. Sometimes, it’s those workarounds that help us get to where we want to go with more ease and less resistance.

Building determination is not solely an individual endeavor. We benefit from the support and encouragement of a community. Surrounding ourselves with people who share our values and aspirations can provide that much needed encouragement during challenging times, and remind us to celebrate our successes. This network can offer diverse perspectives and strategies, enhancing our own resilience and persistence when we start to feel like our only option is to give up.

Ultimately, determination is a reflection of our deepest values and convictions. It reveals what we are truly passionate about and willing to strive for, despite the challenges. This alignment between our goals and values is what sustains our determination over the long-term, ensuring that our efforts are meaningful and personally rewarding. 

Getting to where we want to go is more of a marathon, rather than a sprint. It’s preparing us for the long haul. It requires patience, endurance, and a steadfast commitment to why we’ve chosen these particular goals for ourselves. Recognizing that the path to achievement is often long and fraught with challenges helps us to mentally and emotionally prepare for the journey ahead. 

Developing determination is a transformative process that not only aids in achieving our goals, but also fundamentally changes how we approach challenges and setbacks. It’s about more than just the end result; it’s about valuing the journey, embracing growth, and understanding that through adversity, we discover our true capabilities. 

By committing to making it happen, no matter what, we open ourselves to a world of possibilities, learning to appreciate the journey’s inherent value and the profound personal growth it brings. This journey not only leads us to our desired destination, but also reveals the depth of our character and the strength of our spirit, because sometimes, we’re going to have to dig deep into our resolve just to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

In the pursuit of success and achievement, it’s a common misconception that happiness and fulfillment lie in reaching a specific destination or goal. This belief often leads us to overlook the value and significance of the journey itself, emphasizing “getting there” over “being here”. However, the key to unlocking our potential is in discovering who we are and truly believing that we can make it happen for ourselves, regardless of what anyone else thinks. We don’t need their permission or their approval. If we want to make it happen, we can. 

The notion that life will inherently become better once we achieve our goals is a misleading oversimplification. It suggests that success or reaching a specific milestone will bring about a state of perpetual bliss. Not so. That’s never going to happen. This perspective fails to appreciate the richness of the process involved in striving toward these goals – the learning, growth, and experiences that shape us. The journey towards success is filled with moments of discovery, challenge, and personal development that are, in many ways, more valuable than the destination itself.

Determination is one of the most important skills that we can develop in our pursuit of career success. It is the driving force that enables us to push through those inevitable barriers, setbacks, and failures that will always be a part of any meaningful endeavor. Despite what you may have been told, determination is not an innate trait; it’s a skill that can be nurtured and developed over time. It is my hope that this realization will empower you to cultivate that sense of resilience and persistence that is essential for achieving your long-term career goals. 

Become tenacious and make a conscious commitment to persevere in the face of adversity. Because, in any career or endeavor worth pursuing, there will always be adversity. It starts by acknowledging that setbacks and failures are not indicators of futility, but look at them as opportunities to change your approach. By embracing these challenges and viewing them as an integral part of the journey, we can strengthen our resolve and enhance our capacity to make things happen for ourselves. 

While achieving what we set out to do can bring joy and fulfillment, it’s the journey towards these goals that truly enriches our lives. By embracing the process, celebrating our progress, and learning from our experiences, we find deeper satisfaction and a more profound sense of accomplishment. The journey, with all its challenges and triumphs, is where we learn and become the best version of ourselves. 

It’s not just about reaching a destination; it’s about who we become along the way. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Developing Your Determination at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and eleven.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.