Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and fifty-nine. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Picking up the slack for other people is an all too familiar workplace frustration we’ve all experienced at one time or another. You know the drill. The tasks are clearly defined, the expectations are spelled out, and yet somehow, you’re the one scrambling to make sure everything gets done – and done right. Whether it’s the coworker who never meets a deadline or the teammate whose work quality leaves a bit to be desired, the result is the same. You’re left holding the bag, wondering how it became your responsibility to save the day, yet again. And while you’re busy juggling your own workload plus theirs, the resentment starts to build. Why are you the only one who seems to care about doing your job well? 

In this episode, we explore why this cycle keeps happening – because it’s allowed to happen. And whether it’s because we’re too nice, too accommodating, or simply too invested in getting the work done correctly, we often find ourselves enabling the very behavior we’d rather avoid. Sure, it’s easier to just handle the problem yourself than to confront the person who dropped the ball, but at what cost? Over time, this dynamic doesn’t just hurt your productivity, it leaves you feeling undervalued and overworked. 

It’s time to break the cycle. Protecting yourself from being taken advantage of is not only possible, it’s essential for your sanity and career growth. 

Isn’t it amazing that no matter where you go, there’s a seemingly endless stream of coworkers who mysteriously manage to offload their responsibilities onto you? If you’ve ever found yourself up to your eyeballs in tasks that aren’t yours, while others seem to have so much more free time, you’re not alone. Recognizing the patterns that lead to this frustration is the first step in reclaiming your sanity and productivity. So, why do we often find ourselves in this position and how can we stop the cycle without burning bridges? 

Not surprisingly, the problem is that you’re dependable. You’ve built a reputation for getting things done, and people know it. So, if they ask, they know you’ll do it. But saving the day isn’t in your job description.

And, it’s not just that you’ll say yes when asked. It’s also the fact that you’ll see something that needs doing, and instead of waiting for someone else to notice – or the person responsible to actually step up – you’ll just do it. Why? Because leaving it undone isn’t an option for you. It feels like your reputation is on the line. 

While you’re busy tidying up everyone else’s messes, they’re not reciprocating. You don’t see your colleagues jumping in to cover your workload or sweating over a project you can’t get to. Nope, you’re on your own. You may be doing your work and theirs, but they’re the ones who get to leave at a reasonable time while you’re buried in tasks that shouldn’t even be yours. 

This imbalance inevitably leads to one thing: resentment. You start to feel the weight of carrying your responsibilities and everyone else’s. You’re overwhelmed and unable to complete your own work to the high standards you hold yourself to. You look around for appreciation – surely someone will notice all the extra work you’re putting in – but all you get is silence. 

And the irony? You’re so bogged down with the extra work that your own performance suffers. The meticulous attention to detail you pride yourself on starts slipping because there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. It’s infuriating to realize that in trying to be ‘everything to everyone’, you’re falling short of your own expectations. 

So, let’s talk about why this keeps happening. For many of us, the problem boils down to one thing: the need to prove ourselves to someone, or possibly everyone. Whether it’s a new role, a toxic workplace culture, or the internalized belief that we have to work twice as hard to be seen as competent, saying no feels impossible.

You want to be seen as reliable, capable, and indispensable. So, when someone hands you a task – or worse, when you notice something undone – you jump in, thinking, “This will show them how good I am”. And maybe it does, but at what cost? 

The trouble is, the more you say yes, the more people expect it. You set a precedent. You’re the person who will always step up. And guess what? They’ll keep coming back, because why wouldn’t they? You’ve made it easy for them while you shoulder the burden. 

The cycle is exhausting. You start with a manageable workload, then take on one extra task, then another. Before you know it, your evenings and weekends are swallowed up by work. You’re logging long hours, not because you’re inefficient, but because you’ve taken on so much that it’s humanly impossible to get it all done during the workday.

Something has to give, and eventually, it will. Maybe it’s your health, because stress has a nasty habit of catching up with us. Maybe it’s your relationships, because your friends and family can only handle so many canceled plans before they stop inviting you. Or maybe it’s your performance, because your manager notices that you’re missing deadlines or turning in work that’s not up to par. 

And let’s be clear: when everything falls apart, it’s you who will bear the consequences. The people whose slack you’ve been picking up? They will be nowhere to be found. 

At the heart of this mess is the belief that you can’t say no. Whether it’s fear of disappointing people, concern about how you’ll be perceived, or the simple fact that it feels easier to just do the work than to explain why you can’t, saying yes becomes a reflex. 

But, this isn’t sustainable. You can’t do your job, and everyone else’s, indefinitely. At some point, you’ll hit a breaking point. And when you do, the same people you’ve been trying to impress will be the first to ask, “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”. 

So, how do you protect yourself? It starts with recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to how much you can do for other people. Being a team player doesn’t mean being a doormat. 

Here are five strategies to help you reclaim your time and energy:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Boundaries aren’t about being difficult or uncooperative – they’re about being realistic. Instead of saying, “I can’t do that”, try, “Here’s what I can do”. For example, “I can help with this, but I’ll need to shift that to next week”. This frames your limits in a way that feels collaborative, rather than obstructive. 
2. Stop Jumping In: Resist the urge to rescue every situation. If a task isn’t your responsibility, let the person accountable for it handle it. Yes, it’s painful to watch things not get done the way you’d do them, but it’s the only way to break the pattern. 
3. Say No Strategically: Practice saying no in low-stakes situations. Start small by declining a minor request or delegating a simple task. The more you do it, the easier it gets. 
4. Prioritize Your Work: Your job is to deliver on your responsibilities, not everyone else’s. Focus on what’s critical for your role and let go of the rest. When they realize you’re no longer doing it for them, they just might start doing it for themselves. 
5. Ask For Help: If your workload is truly unmanageable, speak up. Approach your manager with a clear breakdown of your responsibilities and the time they require. Propose solutions – like reallocating tasks or extending deadlines – rather than simply highlighting the problem. 

While being helpful and reliable is generally a good thing, it also comes with a downside: we’re prime targets for being taken advantage of. Yes, it’s frustrating when others don’t pull their weight, and even more so when the same people genuinely believe they’re doing nothing wrong. But, being helpful isn’t the problem; it’s being too helpful. 

When you’re stepping in to clean up others’ messes, more often than not, they’re going to keep making messes because, well, why wouldn’t they? They know you’ll swoop in to fix it. Your actions are enabling this to continue to happen. You’ve essentially trained them to expect it. 

But, let’s also give ourselves some grace here. Just because we’ve been too accommodating doesn’t make us responsible for their exploitative behavior. If someone regularly drops the ball and leaves you to deal with the fallout, that’s on them, not you. You have to let them face the consequences. At the same time, we have to acknowledge that our overly helpful tendencies may be creating the environment where this behavior thrives.

Let’s take a moment to look at things from their perspective. They don’t think they’re being exploitative or inconsiderate. They’re just asking, assuming that if you couldn’t do it, or didn’t want to do it, you’d just say so – as they would. 

For many people, saying no is easy. It’s a simple guilt-free reflex. Need me to stay late to finish your project? Nope, can’t. Want me to take on that extra report? Sorry, not happening. They don’t apologize for it or lose sleep worrying they’ve let someone down. 

The problem is, not everyone is wired that way. For those of us who find it gut-wrenchingly hard to say no, there’s this self-imposed pressure to always say yes. We worry about disappointing people, looking uncooperative, or being labeled as difficult. So, we default to yes, even when it’s to our own detriment.

There’s no denying that for many of us, this is self-imposed pressure to say yes. And, it can be exhausting. Every time someone asks for help, we run through this type of mental checklist: 

• Will they think less of me if I say no? 
• Will this hurt my reputation? 
• Am I being a bad team player? 

Before we’ve even considered whether we want to do the task, we’ve already convinced ourselves we have to. And so, the cycle continues. We say yes, take on more than we should, and end up frustrated and overwhelmed. 

Here’s an idea to consider: What if you made decisions by taking your future self into consideration? Picture future you – stressed, overworked, and buried under a pile of tasks. Now, ask yourself, “Will saying yes to this request make future me’s life easier or harder?”. 

Odds are, future you will be much happier if you say no now. Think of it as an act of self-care. Just as you know scheduling back-to-back meetings with no breaks makes for a very long day, don’t overload future you with more work than they can reasonably handle. 

When that next request comes in, pause and consider that as much as you want to say yes, remember that you’re not just impacting present you, you’re having a negative impact on future you as well.

Start noticing your own behavior patterns. Pay attention to when and why you say yes. Are you saying yes because you genuinely want to help, or because you feel obligated? Are there certain people or situations that make it harder for you to say no? 

Once you start noticing your default response, you can begin to make some changes. Maybe you realize you always say yes to a particular coworker because they’re especially pushy. Or maybe you say yes when you’re already feeling overwhelmed because you’re too exhausted to argue. Understanding these patterns helps you anticipate and prepare for them, so you’re not caught off guard next time. 

One good way of preparing yourself to be able to say no more often is to have boundaries in place. Why? Because people will already know what to expect from you. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about creating clear guidelines for what you’re willing to do – and what you’re not.

Most people think of boundaries as negative, “I don’t work late” or “I can’t take on extra tasks”. So, let’s turn that around by instead focusing on what you will do, rather than putting the emphasis on what you won’t do. For example: 

• “I’m happy to help with this, but I’ll need X and Y to be pushed to next week”. 
• “I can take this on, but I’ll need some extra resources to make it happen”.

By framing boundaries in a more positive light, you can make it clear that you’re willing to help – within reason. This approach also makes it harder for people to argue with you because you’re seen as being considerably accommodating, given the circumstances. 

Setting boundaries and saying no isn’t easy, especially if you’re used to being the go-to person. But the alternative – continuing to overextend yourself – isn’t sustainable. By protecting your time and energy, you’re not just doing your future self a favor, you’re also modeling healthy behavior for others.

When you stop overcommitting, you’ll have more time and focus for the tasks that truly matter. You’ll be able to deliver higher-quality work, meet your own expectations, and feel more in control of your workload. 

And, the surprising thing is, when you start enforcing your boundaries, people will respect you more. They’ll see you as someone who knows their limits and stands by them – a skill that’s just as valuable as being reliable or hardworking.

It’s important to start protecting yourself now, before the quality of your work begins to suffer. When you’re saying yes to too much, you’re not doing your best work – not because you’re not capable, but because you’re stretched too thin. And while you’re excessively busy, no one’s noticing that you’re the one picking up all the slack. These contributions aren’t the best use of your limited time and energy, since they are invisible to most people.

By protecting yourself now – learning to say no, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your own work – you’re doing more than just preserving your sanity. You’re also setting the stage to deliver the kind of work that gets noticed, respected, and rewarded. 

When you let yourself be exploited, you’re not just harming yourself – you’re also sending the wrong message to everyone around you. By constantly saying yes, overworking yourself, and bending over backward to accommodate others, you’re modeling behavior that screams, “This is normal, and this is okay”.

Do you want to be remembered as the person who made exploitation look acceptable? Probably not. 

Instead, be the role model who normalizes boundaries as not just necessary, but also healthy. And that it’s possible to be a hard worker without being ‘everything to everyone’. The more people see you respecting your own time and energy, the more likely they are to follow suit. 

If you’ve been the office hero for a while, you’ve probably gotten really good at making miracles happen. You are there in the nick of time to save the project, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. But, by always stepping up, you’re creating a system where others don’t have to. 

It’s time to stop trying to fit it all in and make it all work. Instead, stand your ground. When someone asks you for a favor you don’t have the capacity for, say no. When the task falls outside your scope, redirect it to the person responsible.

The hardest part of this? You’ll have to let things not get done and that’s going to feel terrible – especially if you’re someone who prides themselves on being reliable. But, if you keep covering for others, they’ll never step up. The only way to force change is to stop enabling their bad behavior. 

This might feel risky, especially if you’ve been making miracles happen for a while. Letting things not get done might sound like you’re sabotaging the team or jeopardizing your reputation. But the reality is, unless others experience the natural consequences of their inaction, they’ll keep expecting you to be their safety net. 

Enforcing boundaries requires you to get comfortable with discomfort – both your own and that of others. When tasks don’t get done, it forces others to take notice, adjust their behavior, and step up. This shift not only protects you from an excessive workload, but also starts to recalibrate the team dynamic, making it clear that everyone must do their part.

Protecting yourself from being taken advantage of isn’t about being selfish or uncooperative. It’s about recognizing that your time and energy are finite resources. When you say yes to everything, you’re not just shortchanging yourself – you’re also reinforcing a culture where it’s okay for others to underperform. 

By setting clear boundaries, prioritizing your responsibilities, and letting go of the need to save the day, you can break the cycle of overcommitment and reclaim your time. It won’t be easy – especially at first. But, as with most things, the more you practice, the easier it gets. 

So, the next time someone tries to slide their work onto your plate, take a breath, stand firm, and remember, you’re not a hero. And you’re not supposed to be. You’re just someone who deserves respect – and that starts with respecting yourself. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Guarding Your Time at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and fifty-nine. 

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com. 

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.  

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.