Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and forty-seven. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Early in our careers, we’re taught that success comes from how efficiently and effectively we execute tasks. We become productivity machines, rewarded for our ability to crank through work and check items off our to-do lists. This focus on ‘doing’ serves us well in the beginning, building a strong foundation of skills and a reputation as someone who can get things done. But, as we climb the corporate ladder, the rules start to change. At a certain point, it’s not enough to simply be good at doing the work ourselves – our ability to lead others in doing the work becomes far more important. The challenge? Letting go of the reins and stepping into a leadership role can feel unnatural, even terrifying, for those of us who’ve been so heavily praised for our ‘doing’ capabilities.

In this episode, we explore the transition from doing to leading. Not only is it necessary for career growth, it’s inevitable if you want to continue making an impact. Yet, many of us are slow to make this shift, clinging to the comfort of executing tasks ourselves, rather than trusting others to do them. And that hesitation? It can lead to a host of problems, from burnout to stifled team development and missed strategic opportunities.

Embracing this change means accepting that leadership often requires an entirely different skill set – one focused on guiding, influencing, and empowering others, rather than micromanaging or controlling every detail. While it’s not an easy shift to make, learning to lead instead of do is essential if we want to move forward and amplify our impact in the workplace. 

Early in your career, you’re celebrated for how productive you are and how fast you can churn out work. You become the go-to person for getting things done.  That can feel pretty good. But, as you move up the ladder, your ability to lead, guide, and amplify the work of others becomes the real ticket to career growth. In other words, it’s not about how fast you can finish the work anymore – it’s about how well you can inspire others to finish it. 

This shift from doing to leading is a tricky one. It’s like moving from being the star of the show, to the director behind the scenes. It’s not glamorous in the least. It’s hard, frustrating, and, if you’re not careful, it can tank your career if you don’t embrace it. So, let’s talk about why this transition matters, the pitfalls of clinging to your ‘doer’ ways, and why being a leader means more than just delegating tasks on a much longer to-do list.

There’s a big distinction between doing and leading. When you’re doing the work, you’re hands-on, checking items off, and basking in the satisfaction of seeing something tangible get completed. In the early stages of your career, this is how you make your mark since your performance is tied directly to your output. Your boss gives you a list of tasks and you crush them. You’re a productivity machine, and then the expectations tend to escalate because things start to shift. 

As you rise up the ranks, people expect more from you than just checking things off the list. They want you to help other people check things off their lists. Now your success is tied to the team’s output, not just your own. This is where leadership kicks in, and the skills required to get tasks done no longer suffice. 

Doing is about personal execution. Leading is about orchestrating others to execute. One is about control, the other is about influence. One relies on your hands-on involvement, the other requires you to let go and trust your team. If you stay stuck in ‘doing’ mode, you’ll not only burn yourself out, but you’ll also limit the growth of those around you. And, the reality is, no one can lead effectively if they’re still trying to do all the work themselves. 

When you’re a ‘doer’, you’re rewarded for being detail-oriented, fast, and accurate. These are all important skills. But, when you become a leader, the game changes. Instead of focusing on how well you can execute tasks, you need to shift your focus to communication, delegation, motivation, and more strategic thinking. These aren’t skills you’ll use to knock out a report; these are the skills you’ll use to inspire your team to complete multiple reports while you’re busy ensuring that the work aligns with bigger, long-term goals.

The problem? Most of us are slow to embrace this new reality. We still think our worth is tied to how much we can personally accomplish. It’s like we’re afraid to let go of the keyboard because no one will be able to do it quite like we can. This was me. I felt like I needed to be doing everything myself, even when it was way too much for one person to handle. Believe me when I say that if you keep holding on, you’re going to get in your own way. 

When you’re trying to do everything yourself, it will invariably lead to burnout. There’s only so much time in the day, and when you’re too busy managing tasks, you lose the ability to focus on strategic goals. 

By refusing to delegate, you’re holding back your team’s growth. Instead of empowering them to take on more responsibility, you’re keeping them in a holding pattern, while you drown in work. You’re basically telling them, “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it”, which, as you can imagine, isn’t exactly doing wonders for their self-confidence and long-term development. 

You can only work so fast and juggle so many balls in the air before something drops. When you insist on doing everything yourself, you become the bottleneck. Deadlines start getting missed, and the team is waiting for you to complete your part before they can move on. Now it’s you who is slowing the whole process down.

Leaders who are too busy doing the work miss out on the chance to think strategically. You’re too caught up in the weeds to see the big picture. Your job is to steer the ship, so if you’re not looking ahead, you’re not leading. 

Your team needs to know that you trust them. If you’re constantly stepping in to do their work, they’ll feel like you don’t trust them to handle it. This erodes their confidence and your micromanaging can contribute to an already toxic work environment. Trust is a two-way street, and when you fail to delegate, you’re sending a loud, clear message that you don’t trust anyone else to perform. 

If you don’t make the shift from ‘doer’ to leader, you’re going to hit a ceiling in your career. Higher-level roles require you to lead teams and enable others to get more done. If you’re too busy executing tasks, you won’t have the time to develop these higher-order skills and your career will stall out while others pass you by. 

When you’re micromanaging and doing everything yourself, you’re limiting the potential for fresh ideas. The best ideas often come from collaboration, and when your team feels empowered to contribute, they’re more likely to bring creative solutions to the table. By doing it all yourself, you’re shutting down that flow of creativity.

You can’t have a big impact if you’re still thinking small. The more you try to control everything, the less space you have to focus on making a difference at a higher level. Leading others expands your influence and your impact. Staying in ‘doing’ mode limits both. 

Making the shift from doing to leading isn’t easy – it requires you to let go of what made you successful early in your career and embrace a new set of skills. But, if you cling to your old ways of working, you’ll not only burn yourself out, but you’ll also stunt your own career growth, frustrate your team, and limit the impact you could be having. 

So, let’s dig a little deeper into the difference between exerting control and using influence to get the job done, why this transition is tough, and, more importantly, how you can make it easier on yourself by building the necessary skills and easing into leadership.

If you’re still clinging to control, let’s talk about what’s really going on. When you try to exert control, you’re micromanaging, plain and simple. You’re dictating how every task should be done, often down to the smallest details. It’s exhausting – for you and your team. You’re monitoring their every move because you don’t trust anyone to do it as well as you would. It’s a recipe for bottlenecking progress and creating resentment.

Influence is about empowering others to take ownership of their work. It’s about guiding them, offering support, and trusting that they’ll get the job done, without you hovering over them. Influence is rooted in trust, respect, and communication. You’re not having to look over their shoulder; you’re setting the vision and letting them figure out how to get it there. It’s a subtle but powerful shift that allows your team to grow while you focus on higher-level priorities.

In essence, control is short-term thinking – it’s about ensuring immediate compliance. Influence is long-term thinking – it’s about cultivating independent, engaged team members who can execute without you needing to tell them what to do, every step of the way. And trust me, the latter is how you will keep your sanity intact. 

Now, you might be wondering, how do I actually start leading instead of doing? Good question. Here are four key strategies to help you build the necessary skills for this transition:

1. Improve Your Communication Skills: Clear communication is the foundation of effective leadership. When you’re leading, you’re not just telling people what to do; you’re articulating the why. Your team needs to understand the bigger picture, not just the next task on the list. Developing your communication skills means being clear, concise, and purposeful in your messaging. But, it’s not just about talking – listening is equally important. You need to actively listen to your team’s questions, concerns, and ideas. Leaders who communicate well, build trust and ensure everyone is aligned on goals and expectations. 
2. Learn to Delegate Effectively: If there’s one skill that separates ‘doers’ from leaders, it’s delegation. Effective delegation isn’t about offloading the grunt work you don’t want to do, although that is a nice perk. It’s about empowering your team to take on responsibilities that will help them grow. When you delegate, you’re saying, “I trust you to handle this.” But, there’s an art to delegating well. You need to provide clear instructions, set expectations, and then – here’s the hard part – step back and let your team figure it out. You can’t swoop in at the first sign of trouble. Trust that they’ll rise to the occasion. They might just surprise you. But, of course, it is your responsibility to follow up on any task you’ve delegated. 
3. Cultivate Your Emotional Intelligence: Leadership isn’t just about managing tasks – it’s about managing people. The people come with emotions, stress, and personal dynamics. Developing emotional intelligence is critical for leading effectively. This means being aware of your own emotions and managing them, as well as recognizing and responding to the emotions of others. Leaders with high emotional intelligence can navigate conflicts, motivate their team, and create a positive work environment where people feel heard and valued. Unfortunately for me, many of the leaders I encountered weren’t able to do this well, but they taught me a lot about what not to do.
4. Develop Your Coaching and Mentorship Skills: As a leader, you’re not just managing projects, you’re supposed to be developing your people. This requires a shift in mindset from, “How do I get this done?” to “How do I help others get this done?”. Developing coaching and mentorship skills are key to building a strong, capable team. This means providing constructive feedback, encouraging independent problem-solving, and helping your team members grow into their roles. It’s less about fixing all the problems yourself and more about guiding your team to find their own solution. 

So, now you can see there are skills you will need to acquire in order to lead effectively. Let’s talk about how to make this transition a little less painful. Here are five tips to make the shift from doing to leading easier on yourself: 

1. Start Small with Delegation: You don’t have to delegate everything overnight. Start small. Pick one or two tasks that you can hand off and see how it goes. This helps build your confidence in your team’s abilities and gives you practice in letting go. Once you see that the world doesn’t implode when you’re not in control, you’ll feel more comfortable delegating bigger responsibilities. 
2. Focus on the Why, Not the How: When you’re leading, instead of obsessing over how tasks are being done, otherwise known as micromanaging, focus on why they’re being done in the first place. Articulate the bigger picture to your team and give them the freedom to figure out the best way to achieve the desired outcome. This builds trust and allows your team to take ownership of their work. 
3. Trust, But Verify: It’s okay to check-in and follow-up – just don’t micromanage. Set regular checkpoints to ensure things are on track, but resist the urge to take over. Think of it as offering guidance, not trying to exert control. You’re there to support your team, not to do the work for them. 
4. Foster Autonomy and Ownership: The goal of leadership is to create a self-sufficient team that doesn’t need you to be involved in every little detail. Encourage your team to take ownership of their tasks and their decisions. This fosters independence and empowers them to think critically, which will ultimately benefit the entire organization. 
5. Shift Your Focus to Mentorship: Leading is about developing people. Shift your focus from getting the job done, to helping others get the job done. Take pride in your team’s successes and provide support when they stumble. Being a mentor means helping others grow, and in turn, you’ll grow as a leader. 

This transition isn’t going to happen overnight. You’ll probably slip back into ‘doing’ mode more often than you like, especially when things get hectic. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself as you learn to let go and lead. Leadership is a skill, and like any skill, it takes time to develop. 

Transitioning from doing to leading is one of the toughest, but most important, shifts you’ll make in your career. It requires a new set of skills, a shift in mindset, and, let’s be honest, a lot of patience. But, if you embrace the process, you’ll find that leading is not only more impactful, but also more rewarding. You’re not just getting things done anymore, you’re helping others achieve their potential, and that’s the mark of a real leader. 

This shift from doing to leading is challenging in any environment, but throw in a toxic or chaotic workplace, and it feels like trying to lead your team through a minefield. In these high-stress settings, the stakes are higher, the resistance to change is stronger, and the temptation to cling to control is almost irresistible.

So, how do you navigate this transition without losing your mind or your integrity? Let’s break down what to watch out for as you make the shift from ‘doer’ to leader in a challenging work environment and how to come out the other side with your career (and your sanity) intact. 

When you’ve been praised for your ability to execute tasks efficiently, the idea of handing those tasks over to someone else can feel risky, especially in a challenging workplace where trust might be in short supply. But, here’s the hard truth: you can’t lead if you’re doing everything yourself. If you try to hold on to every little task, you’ll not only burn out, but you’ll also deprive your team of the chance to develop their skills. Watch out for the urge to say, “I’ll just do it myself – it’s faster that way”. Fast forward to you drowning in work, while everyone else is twiddling their thumbs. Resist the urge to be the hero and start delegating.

However, while you’re embracing delegation, be careful not to overload your team with too much at once. It’s tempting to think that once you start delegating, you can unload all your work on your team. But remember, they’re likely dealing with work from others in a matrix environment. If you overload them, without giving adequate support, you’ll end up with a demoralized team and a mountain of half-done tasks. Balance is key. Delegate wisely, provide the necessary resources, and don’t just dump and run. 

In a toxic or chaotic work environment, communication is often lacking. This means you’ll need to be extra clear with your team about what needs to be done and why it matters. If you’re vague or inconsistent with your instructions, you’ll end up with confusion, missed deadlines, and frustration on all sides. Make sure your team knows exactly what’s expected of them and how their work fits into the bigger picture. Clarity is your best defense against the chaos around you. 

In a challenging work environment, you’re not just managing your team – you’re also managing your higher-ups. This can be tricky when leadership is dysfunctional or disorganized. There is a need to constantly report progress up the chain and keep your superiors in the loop with any issues you encounter and how you’re solving them. It’s a balancing act. You need to make sure your team is doing their work, but you also need to keep upper management informed, without letting it distract you from actually leading.

People hate change, especially in a toxic environment where trust is already fragile. If your team is used to you being the one doing everything, they might resist the shift to you delegating more and taking on a leadership role. They might feel like you’re dumping work on them or worry that they can’t meet your expectations. Expect resistance, but don’t let it stop you. Address their concerns, offer support, and make it clear that this is an opportunity for them to demonstrate what they can do.

It’s easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day drama and lose sight of the long-term goals. As a leader, your job is to keep the big picture in focus, even when everything around you is on fire. Don’t get so caught up in putting out small fires that you forget to steer the ship. Keep reminding yourself and your team of the broader vision and goals. 

In a challenging work environment, it’s easy to feel like you have to constantly defend your decision or prove yourself. But, leadership requires balancing assertiveness with diplomacy. You need to stand your ground, but you also need to be tactful and aware of the workplace dynamics. Knowing when to push for what’s right, and when to back off and let things play out, is crucial. Assertiveness doesn’t mean bulldozing your way through every situation – sometimes, diplomacy and compromise are the best paths to achieve long-term goals. 

In most workplaces, the unexpected is pretty much guaranteed. Whether it’s last-minute changes from leadership, team members leaving, or projects shifting direction, you need to be adaptable. If you’re rigid in your approach, you’ll quickly become frustrated and overwhelmed. Stay flexible, adjust your strategy as needed, and lead your team through the turbulence. Remember, adaptability is a key leadership skill, especially in chaotic workplaces. 

Leading in toxic work environments is draining. The stress, pressure, and dysfunction can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. It’s easy to put your own needs last when you’re focused on managing your team and navigating the chaos. But, you can’t lead effectively if you’re running on fumes. Prioritize your own self-care, set boundaries, and don’t let the toxic environment seep into every aspect of your life. Your well-being matters just as much as that of your team. 

Now, let’s talk about what happens when things go wrong – because they inevitably will, especially in a tough work environment. As a leader, it’s crucial to know what to take responsibility for, and what to distance yourself from. 

When things go off the rails, start by asking yourself, “What could I have done differently?”. If the issue stems from a lack of communication, poor delegation, or a failure to provide support, own that. Leaders take responsibility for their actions and their team’s development. 

However, in a toxic environment, there’s a high likelihood that some things are simply beyond your control. If your team struggles due to unclear directives from upper management, shifting priorities, or external pressures, don’t shoulder all the blame. It’s tempting to take ownership of everything because, as the leader, you feel responsible. But, it doesn’t serve anyone, especially you, to take responsibility for things that are outside of your control. 

Maintain your integrity by being honest about what went wrong without playing the martyr. You don’t need to take the fall for every mistake or failure, especially when external factors were at play. Own your part, learn from it, and move forward. If others try to shift the blame onto you, stand your ground – but with professionalism. Leadership is about balance: owning your role while maintaining healthy boundaries. 

One thing that people often don’t realize is that being a great leader is less about having all the answers and more about asking the right questions. Early in our careers, we’re rewarded for knowing the details and executing perfectly, so it’s easy to assume that leadership means being the smartest person in the room and always having the answers. But in reality, leading effectively is about creating an environment where your team feels empowered to come up with their own solutions and ideas. Your role as leader shifts from problem-solver to more of a facilitator. 

This subtle shift is what differentiates a micromanager from a strong leader. The ability to ask insightful, guiding questions like, “What do you think is the best approach?” or “How would you solve this problem?” encourages critical thinking, ownership, and innovation within your team. It also shows that you trust your team’s expertise, which is essential for building a culture of collaboration and growth. Many people are slow to make this shift because they think leadership is about having all the right answers, but in truth, it’s about guiding others to find their own. 

Transitioning from doing to leading in a challenging or toxic environment is no easy feat. You’ll face resistance, temptation to control, and unexpected obstacles at every turn. But, by being strategic about what you take on, building the right skills, and recognizing what’s beyond your control, you’ll not only survive – you’ll learn to lead effectively. 

And remember, leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being adaptable, resilient, and – most importantly – keeping your integrity intact, while guiding your team through whatever chaos comes your way. 

So, the next time you’re tempted to jump in and take control, remember your role has changed. Focus on leading, not doing. Influence, don’t control. And watch as your career – and your team – reach new heights. 

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Amplifying Your Impact at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and forty-seven.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.