they are looking to you

episode 74: they are looking to you

Are you tired of feeling underestimated, undervalued, and patronized just because you’re a woman? Are you wanting to be a role model for other women in your workplace but worried about the downsides of having to take on that responsibility? 
 
You’ll learn that taking the opportunity to be a role model can help build your own confidence while having an impact on those around you at the same time.
 
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
  • 5 ways to take the high road and be a role model to others while avoiding the pitfalls along the way
  • Why doing your part to break down gender stereotypes is important
  • 5 tips and strategies to inspire you to shake things up and start showing up successfully in the workplace

Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success Podcast, episode seventy-four. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

Being a role model as a woman in a male-dominated workplace is tough. There are definitely downsides to being one of only a few women in a field like engineering, and having to take on the responsibility of being a role model can be a lot of pressure. But, there are also some benefits.

In this episode, we look at why being a role model as a woman for other women is important for personal growth, professional success, and for inspiring others. By breaking down gender barriers, creating a more inclusive workplace, and building confidence, women can lead the way towards a more equitable and empowered future for all, at least that’s the hope.

First off, you can do your part in starting to break down gender stereotypes. When women excel in fields that traditionally attract fewer women, it challenges the notion that women can’t handle the work or aren’t cut out for it. And that’s a big deal! It can inspire more women to pursue careers in these fields, which can go a long way to normalize it, and helps to prove that gender doesn’t define someone’s capabilities.

Just doing what you do might inspire others. You could be a shining example of what’s possible when you’re determined and committed to keep doing what you’re doing, even when it’s hard. You can show younger generations that they too can achieve their goals, and that it’s definitely worth the effort it requires.

Plus, being a role model can help create a more inclusive workplace culture. Eventually employers will see the value of diversity and inclusion, since studies show it can lead to better decision-making, increased productivity, and higher employee satisfaction, which are all good for the bottom line. And really, when it comes down to it, who doesn’t want that?

Taking that opportunity to be a role model can help build your confidence and self-esteem. When you see the impact you’re making on others, it can be incredibly empowering.

So, how do you become a role model? Lead by example. Set high standards for yourself, be professional and show integrity, and mentor others. Advocate for gender equality and challenge those gender biases and stereotypes you are bound to encounter.

So many of us have experienced the joys of being the odd one out in the male-dominated workplace. It’s always a delight to be underestimated, undervalued, and patronized just because we’re women. But it’s not all bad. There are ways we can take the high road and be a role model to others and maybe teach them a thing or two. 

Here are 5 tips to help you shine:

  1. Be a mentor to other women in your field. Provide support to those who may be struggling to succeed in the workplace. Share your experience, provide guidance, and offer support and encouragement to help them succeed. That just might be what they need to stay in the field when the going gets tough.
  2. Speak up and challenge gender biases and stereotypes in the workplace. Advocate for gender equality and promote a culture of inclusion when you get the opportunity. Use your position, reputation, and all that you’ve worked so hard to achieve for yourself to pave the way for those coming after you.
  3. Set high standards for yourself and strive for excellence in your work. Focus on your strengths and the value you bring to the workplace. Don’t let yourself be defined by the opinions of others. Instead, focus on your talents, skills, and experience, and let your achievements speak for themselves. Show that women can be just as capable and successful as men in the field. 
  4. Be visible by participating in events and forums related to your field, speaking on panels, and attending conferences. Embrace your leadership potential. As a woman, you may be viewed as a threat to the status quo. However, this can be an opportunity to demonstrate your leadership potential. This will help raise your profile and increase your visibility as a successful woman in the field, which just might make it a little easier for the next generation. 
  5. Build relationships with other women and seek out opportunities to connect with other successful women in this industry. This is especially important in a hostile and toxic work environment. Be open, friendly, and collaborative, and seek out opportunities to work with others towards shared goals. This can help you find mentors, gain new insights, and build a strong support network, and pay that forward in mentoring others.

Of course, there are always pitfalls to avoid when becoming a role model as a woman in a male-dominated workplace, so here are 5 actions that we can take to avoid or mitigate these potential pitfalls:

  1. Avoid overcompensating or conforming to male stereotypes. Stay true to yourself and your own values, and resist the urge to be one of the guys. 
  2. Avoid isolating yourself. Seek out allies and build relationships with colleagues who are supportive and positive, and who share your values and goals. 
  3. Set boundaries and prioritize your self-care. Learn to delegate tasks when appropriate and practice ways of saying no before you become completely overwhelmed. We don’t have to be everything to everyone, at the expense of our own well-being in order to succeed so don’t set those expectations.
  4. Seek advice from mentors or trusted colleagues who can provide constructive feedback and support your growth. We are all a work in progress so stop feeling like you have to be perfect in order to succeed.
  5. Advocate for yourself and your accomplishments. Your career is important to you so you need to advocate for yourself in order to be recognized and valued. You might as well do it, everyone else is.

Remember, being a role model is about setting an example for others to follow. Don’t let the patriarchy get you down. Rise above and show them what you’re made of!

Sometimes, being the only woman in your workplace can feel like too much pressure. It’s like everyone is looking at you like you’re some kind of unicorn or something. 

Here are just a few of the reasons why it can feel like such a burden:

First off, you might feel like you’re representing all women in the workplace. No pressure, right? Plus, you’re constantly having to prove yourself and justify your presence because, let’s face it, gender bias is still a thing. And when there are only a few women around, finding a support network can be a real challenge. It’s like you’re stranded on an island with only a few coconuts and a volleyball for company. And to top it off, the culture can be pretty different from what you’re used to, which can feel isolating.

But don’t worry, there are ways to cope with these challenges and even thrive in this kind of environment. One option is to seek out support from those other women in your workplace if there are any, or reach out to those in the industry but working elsewhere. Having someone who can relate to your experiences and offer guidance can make a world of difference. And building your network both inside and outside your workplace can open up new opportunities and help you grow. 

You always have the option to speak up if you experience gender bias or other challenges, but weigh the consequences first. Your voice is valuable, and it’s important to assert your worth in the workplace, but be prepared for some backlash. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and don’t let the pressure of being the only woman get you down.

Now, some women might feel like they don’t want to take on the responsibility of fighting for gender equality in the workplace. And honestly, I don’t blame them. It’s exhausting to work so hard to prove yourself and then be expected to take on even more. Plus, speaking out can be risky, and some women may feel like it’s not their responsibility to fight for gender equality when it’s really their male colleagues who should be taking on more of the burden.

But here’s the thing: fighting for gender equality is important, and it’s not just about women. Improving workplace culture, creating more opportunities for career advancement for all, and promoting business innovation are just a few of the benefits that come with a more equitable workplace. And let’s not forget about the social responsibility we all have to make progress towards a more just society.

So, while it’s understandable why some women might not want to take on this added responsibility, it’s important to remember the benefits and keep fighting the good fight. Women can play a crucial role in making the workplace more equitable and inclusive for everyone, but you’re right, this is a systemic problem that is not going to be solved overnight.

So, if you’re up for the challenge, here are some reasons why being a role model can be worth it:

First of all, being a role model can give you a real sense of purpose and fulfillment. By inspiring and mentoring others, you can feel like you’re making a positive impact and contributing to a better workplace. Who doesn’t want to feel like they’re making a difference?

Plus, being a role model can actually improve your own performance. By setting a positive example and demonstrating strong leadership skills, you can motivate your colleagues to step up their game and work harder. And when everyone’s performing at their best, the whole team benefits.

Another benefit? Better relationships with your coworkers. By creating a positive and inclusive environment, you can build stronger relationships and foster a more collaborative culture. And wouldn’t we be living the dream to work in an environment where everyone feels valued and respected?

And let’s not forget personal growth. By challenging yourself to be a positive influence and continuously improve, you can develop your own leadership skills, increase your self-confidence, and expand your knowledge and experience. That’s right, being a role model can actually make you a better person! And it just might keep your cynicism at bay for another day.

Last but not least, being a role model can lead to career success. By demonstrating strong leadership skills and building a reputation as a positive and influential team member, you can increase your visibility and credibility in your workplace. And when it comes time for promotions or career advancement, you’ll be in a much stronger position. Not saying that will be enough, but it might make someone have to explain their reason for passing you over, yet again, while others can see you are more than ready.

So, what does being a role model look like in practice? It could mean showing that you are determined and committed to keep doing what you’re doing amid the pressure to take a back seat. It could also mean putting yourself up for consideration for leadership roles. By doing so, you can inspire others to achieve their full potential and create a more positive and supportive workplace culture. And who knows, you might just find that being a role model brings you more job satisfaction, personal growth, and career success than you ever thought possible.

If you’re a strong woman in a male-dominated workplace, I’ve got some tips for you. If you’ve been doing this for a while, you probably already know what you’re doing. Nonetheless, it never hurts to have a little reminder. Here are five ways to show up and succeed:

First, set clear goals, because we all know that nothing gets accomplished without a little bit of direction. Develop a strong work ethic, because unfortunately, hard work is still necessary to prove ourselves, even in this day and age. Seek out feedback, because we can always learn and grow, no matter how experienced we are. Build a strong network, because let’s face it, having connections is crucial to getting ahead in any industry. Lastly, advocate for yourself, because if you don’t speak up, who will?

If you’re facing obstacles, don’t worry, I’ve got some strategies for you. Firstly, build a support network, because it’s always nice to have people who have your back, especially when you feel like your efforts are being thwarted. Develop strong communication skills, because being assertive and confident, without being perceived as aggressive, is a must in a male-dominated environment. Embrace risk-taking, because if you don’t take risks, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Advocate for yourself by praising the contributions of those around you, because if you don’t bring attention to the great work you are collectively doing, no one else will. Lastly, focus on results, because at the end of the day, it’s all about what you bring to the table.

We all know that there are a ton of barriers standing in the way of our success in the workplace. But guess what? Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies. We sabotage ourselves by exhibiting those stereotypically “female” traits, like being too accommodating, self-critical, and conflict-averse. It’s time to shake things up and inspire ourselves and others to show up successfully. 

Here are 5 tips and strategies to get you started:

  1. Stop being a doormat. Stop being so accommodating because sometimes we have to put ourselves first. Model assertiveness and set boundaries for yourself. Say no when necessary, negotiate for what you want and need, and push back against unfair treatment. But remember, choose your battles carefully and be strategic in how you assert yourself. You don’t want to come across as difficult or abrasive. Avoid giving them more ammunition to use against you. 
  2. Stop being so self-critical. We’re all guilty of being too hard on ourselves at times and I promise you that you aren’t the only one making mistakes. Model self-compassion and positive self-talk. But remember, when we’re dealing with very ingrained stereotypes, a little confidence can go a long way. Avoid taking it too far and being perceived as arrogant or self-promoting. Strike a balance by acknowledging your strengths while showing humility and gratitude towards others. I know, we have to always walk that fine line.
  3. Stop downplaying your accomplishments. Model self-promotion and highlight your contributions. We need to give ourselves credit where credit is due. But don’t start trying to one-up everyone. Strike a balance by framing your accomplishments in a way that highlights your value to the organization and showing appreciation for the contributions of others. We don’t succeed alone.
  4. Stop avoiding conflict. Sometimes we just have to speak up and say what’s on our minds. Model assertiveness and push back against unfair treatment or discrimination. There are things we can do to subtly indicate that we will no longer tolerate being run over by those who don’t think we belong. But don’t be confrontational or aggressive and avoid personal attacks or insults.
  5. Stop seeking perfection. Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect and that’s okay. Many times, that’s an expectation we put on ourselves. Acknowledge your mistakes and failures. That alone will set you apart since everyone seems to want to avoid showing any vulnerabilities. But don’t take it too far since you don’t want to be perceived as incompetent or unreliable. Show a commitment to continuous improvement and a willingness to learn from mistakes while also demonstrating competence and reliability in your work. Strive for excellence and let go of perfectionism.It is a fine line to walk, maybe more of a tightrope, but we can do this. It’s time they realized who they are dealing with.

Being a role model doesn’t mean being perfect, but rather it’s about being authentic, accountable, and committed to personal and professional growth. Remember to balance the pressure of setting a good example with staying true to yourself, not trying to fix everything all at once, because that might take you down the path to burnout and that can be a long, hard journey back.

It’s important to set realistic expectations and boundaries, prioritize self-care and stress management, and seek out support when needed. By doing so, you can continue to show up as your best self, inspire others to do the same, and ultimately achieve success and fulfillment in your career.

Most importantly, recognize that those around you are looking to you, so lead by example. This means showing up every day with a positive attitude, holding yourself accountable for your work, and consistently delivering high-quality results. When you lead by example, you set a standard of excellence that inspires others to do the same.

Finally, it is important to share your knowledge and experience with others. This can involve mentoring others, or simply sharing your insights and perspectives with those looking for advice. By sharing your expertise, you can help others develop the skills necessary to go further, while also building a sense of camaraderie and connection within the workplace.

Remember that being a role model in the workplace is about more than just achieving your own success. It is about inspiring others to be their best selves, fostering a more enjoyable and productive workplace culture, and sharing your knowledge and experience with those around you. By doing so, you can create a workplace that is not only successful but also supportive and fulfilling for everyone involved.

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Showing Up Professionally at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode seventy-four.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.

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