Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and fifteen. I’m your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

In a world where societal norms and conventional benchmarks often dictate the trajectory of our careers, the quest for personal fulfillment and doing what lights us up can sometimes be overshadowed by the pursuit of traditional success. Perhaps it’s time we get to the heart of what truly motivates us, reevaluate how we define success, and recognize the transformative power of making career choices that resonate with what we want most. 

In this episode, we’re delving deep into the nuances of what truly motivates and inspires us, the essence of personal fulfillment in our work, and having the courage to pivot towards what genuinely makes us feel more alive and joyful. This exploration begins with self-discovery, exposes the impact societal norms have on us, and the often undervalued role of emotion in our career decisions, leading us to consider redefining success on our own terms. 

Traditionally, we’ve looked at success through a fairly standard lens: climbing the corporate ladder, building a resume showing increased responsibility and fancy titles, and collecting the tangible signs of status and power. This approach, however, isn’t for everyone. While it might bring satisfaction to some, it can leave others questioning if they’re really on the path they want to be on. This brings us to a pivotal question that’s not just for those fresh into the workforce, but also resonates deeply with seasoned professionals at high levels: Should our career decisions focus solely on crafting an impressive resume or is there room to prioritize what genuinely energizes us?

It’s interesting to observe as my own kids grapple with these decisions at the start of their careers, mirroring the contemplations of many of my much more experienced colleagues. This isn’t necessarily something we think about every day, but maybe we should. The crux of the matter is, what truly energizes us, sparks our curiosity, and plays to our strengths may not always align with what looks good on paper. It’s almost as if there’s a looming “should” hanging over our heads, dictating a linear, logical progression to our careers. But is this progression truly what we’re aiming for? Or are we just following the script we think we ought to, without questioning if it’s right for us? 

There isn’t always an easy or straightforward answer. It requires us to take a moment to consider if we’ve chosen the path that’s genuinely right for us. Sometimes, we’re afraid of what might come up for us and what we might then have to do about it. Many of us, established in our careers and holding senior positions, might be contributing at a high level but feeling a sense of stagnation. Maybe we’ve spent years navigating our careers only to find ourselves pondering whether it’s time for a change and if that’s even allowed at this point. The decision to shift gears isn’t just permissible; it’s essential for those of us wanting more, ensuring that what we do not only looks good on paper, but feels right in our hearts. 

This prompts a crucial crossroads moment: Do we continue down the familiar path focusing on adding more achievements to our resume, or is it time to pivot towards something that truly resonates with our personal definition of success? It’s about blending the distinction between building a life that’s meaningful and merely constructing a great resume. 

Coming to the realization that our career aspirations might have been more about meeting societal expectations and workplace norms than following our own passions can be quite an eye-opener. It’s a mix of shock and liberation, igniting a curiosity within us that perhaps we didn’t even realize had been dimmed. This moment of awakening encourages us to look beyond the traditional markers of success, urging us to explore what truly makes us tick, what inspires us to jump out of bed in the morning, and whether our current work genuinely fuels our passion. 

It prompts a series of introspective questions. What gets you truly excited? Are you crafting a career based on what feels right, or are you chasing a version of success that doesn’t actually align with your inner drive? This isn’t just about questioning the logic of your career path, but delving deeper into how your work makes you feel and, more importantly, how you want to feel. Maybe it’s time to pivot, to start defining success not by how quickly you advance or your specific job title but by what brings you joy and truly energizes you. 

Rethinking how we approach our careers doesn’t always mean making dramatic changes. Sometimes, it’s the subtler shifts, like finding a role that more closely aligns with our interests or making room for projects that light us up, that can bring us closer to feeling truly engaged and alive in our work. It’s about expanding our vision of what’s possible and allowing ourselves to be guided not just by logic, but by our emotions as well. 

What’s particularly important is protecting space for what truly matters, even within the constraints of traditional career paths. It’s about awakening that curiosity that has been stifled by conventional success metrics and societal pressures, and daring to reimagine our work lives in a way that brings us closer to who we are, under all those layers and masks. This doesn’t necessarily require upending our current situations, but rather doing a few experiments and potentially making a few minor adjustments to find what truly energizes us. 

Leaning heavily on logic for career decisions can often lead us to overlook how crucial our emotions are in this equation. The way our work makes us feel, whether it brings us joy or fulfillment, is an essential guide that shouldn’t be brushed aside. It’s about finding that sweet spot where logic meets emotion, allowing us to chase after careers that don’t just look good on paper but feel deeply rewarding as well. 

However, there’s a trap in decision-making that’s all brain and no heart. We’ve all been there, thinking a job is the perfect move because it’s the logical next step, a strategic choice that seems to tick all the right boxes. These motivations, though, are external. They’re about how things look rather than how they feel. And that’s just where we need to be asking ourselves: Is there still some excitement there? Are we still finding joy in our work, or are we just going through the motions because it’s what we’re supposed to do?

Let’s dig a little deeper into what genuinely motivates us to get out of bed each morning. Sometimes, it might mean continuing on your current path, but with a twist – maybe working towards a new role, a different team, or a fresh challenge. But other times, it’s about acknowledging that, despite doing everything “right” by conventional standards, the true fulfillment we’re looking for still remains elusive.

Many of us start our careers aiming for what seems impressive from the outside, picking jobs that promise the best upward trajectory. Yet, after a while, the shine wears off and we’re left wondering if the sacrifices were worth it. We realize that following the traditional path – chasing status, money and power – might win approval from future employers but at the cost of feeling boxed in and stifling our true selves in the process.

It’s about recognizing that conforming to a traditional career path for the sake of external rewards can be exhausting, especially when those rewards start to feel few and far between. It’s time to question whether adhering to these conventional measures of success is genuinely what we want, or if it’s time to carve a new path that places more value on emotional well-being than on the speed of career progression.

Redefining success means taking a hard look at what genuinely gets us excited and energized. It’s about moving away from seeking approval from others, to nurturing a deep sense of personal fulfillment and from chasing titles and promotions just because they’re the next rung on the corporate ladder, to genuinely enjoying what we do. This shift encourages us to think not just about linear career progression, but more crucially, about how fulfilled we feel with the work we’re doing, where we’re doing it, and with whom. 

Perhaps it’s time for a change, to approach your next career move with finding work that is more engaging, that ignites your passion and makes you eager to talk about it because you’re having more fun. Imagine diving into something that not only plays to your strengths, but also brings you joy, without the hefty price of personal sacrifice. The truth is, work doesn’t have to feel like a slog. Yet for many of us, that’s become the all-too-familiar reality. 

If you find yourself at a turning point, consider this an invitation to look beyond the accolades and accomplishments listed on your resume and think about how your life feels because of the choices you’ve made. Deep into your career, after making decision after decision based on what you thought were the right moves, you might realize you’re not as fulfilled as you expected. Your role and your job title encompass a significant part of your identity. After years of building this professional persona and climbing the ranks, there may be much to untangle with the emotion you have wrapped up in what you do for a living. 

As you reflect on the path you’ve taken, the roles you’ve assumed, and the identity you’ve crafted around your career, it may become apparent that it’s time to reexamine things. This reassessment isn’t about discarding everything you’ve worked for, but about redirecting your focus toward what truly resonates with you. If you’re honest with yourself, you may realize that it’s time to unravel some of the choices you’ve made in order to pave a new path towards something that draws you in, something that feels not just like a job, but like a career with more of a future.

Choosing to pivot in our careers, especially towards less conventional paths in search of genuine joy and fulfillment, is a bold move that demands both courage and a reevaluation of our own definitions of success. It’s more than just a career shift; it’s an intentional step towards aligning our work with what makes us truly happy, acknowledging that this decision might not sit well with everyone. 

Facing up to the mixed feelings and potential discord this change could bring, especially after years of dedicated effort and building a certain reputation, is daunting. It challenges us to question deeply: What’s it all worth to you? How committed are you to this new direction, and are you ready to face the possible misunderstandings and resistance from those around you? Not everyone will get it, and that’s okay. What matters is how you navigate these conversations and to what extent you’re willing to share your reasoning and stand by your decision.

This was a reality I faced when I decided to leave engineering. I was wrestling with not just a career decision, but also the broader implications for my well-being and the expectations of those around me. Treating the transition as an exploratory phase rather than a definitive leap helped me manage both my uncertainties and those of the people closest to me. It wasn’t about shutting the door on my past, but rather keeping it ajar, maintaining my qualifications, and giving myself permission to experiment. This approach allowed me the freedom to explore new possibilities without the pressure of it being a make-or-break decision. 

In my case, having the support of my husband was invaluable, making the journey into the unknown a shared adventure rather than a solitary quest. It’s about creating a safety net for yourself, both emotionally and professionally, as you navigate this pivot. The key is to stay open to learning and evolving, ensuring that whatever path you take, it’s the one that truly resonates with your core values and aspirations. 

Within the structure of traditional careers, there’s always room to weave in our passions and the kind of work that truly lights us up. It’s about understanding that real fulfillment can live alongside professional achievements, and safeguarding that space is essential for your overall happiness. You don’t necessarily need to flip your life upside down. A thoughtful approach to your career can ensure your day-to-day work begins to resonate with what brings you real joy. 

Everyone faces a unique decision-making process, influenced by personal circumstances and goals. It’s critical to be upfront with yourself about the trade-offs you’re willing to make. Yes, every choice comes with its costs and benefits, and it’s important to weigh those without rose-colored glasses. Acknowledging the potential impacts and outcomes of your choices is key, but remember, staying put has its price too. On the surface, your role might seem like the pinnacle of success, but if it leaves you feeling hollow inside, it’s worth questioning whether there’s something else better suited to your needs. 

Reflecting on my own journey, I’ve realized that the achievements that seemed to define success didn’t necessarily align with personal fulfillment. At a certain point, I understood that the resilience and effort I had applied to reach a certain level of conventional success could be redirected towards something that genuinely excited me. This shift in perspective wasn’t about abandoning my capacity for hard work, but rather repurposing it in a way that matched my evolving interests and strengths.

Sure, embarking on this path might raise eyebrows or even elicit criticism from peers who might think you’re stepping back or giving up. However, it’s fascinating how perspectives vary with some of the most encouraging words coming from those you might expect to be the most critical. The journey might be solitary in decision, but collective in its impact, affecting not just your career trajectory, but also spur others into considering their own pursuit of fulfillment versus traditional success. 

Making the leap to follow what genuinely makes you feel good, despite potential judgment or skepticism, could lead to a deeply rewarding career path. Aligning effort with passion can create an unstoppable momentum proving that success is not just about what you achieve, but how you feel about the work you do every day. This realization – that I thrive by pursuing what feels right to me – has been a game changer, reinforcing that the true measure of success is personal satisfaction and joy, far beyond any conventional markers. 

It’s often the smaller, more nuanced adjustments in how we approach our work that can significantly impact our level of energy. This could mean pursuing projects that spark our interest, seeking roles that play to our strengths, or simply choosing to focus on work that makes us happy rather than what looks most prestigious on paper. What I’ve found in my own experience is a balance between the new and the familiar, and this balance has shifted how I feel about my work. I’ve come to appreciate the tasks before me because I’ve chosen them with intention, based on what I enjoy and what matters to me.

The key takeaway here is that career decisions aren’t always black and white. It’s more about discovering the right blend of challenges and passions that make you feel truly engaged and alive. Not everyone is cut out for, or even desires, a massive career upheaval. Sometimes, it’s about making small yet impactful changes right where you are, which can profoundly impact your level of job satisfaction without the need for dramatic shifts.

There’s a common misconception that if we’re not completely satisfied, the only option is to jump ship. But, what if we reframe this thought? Consider the steps you can take right now, small changes that inch you closer to how you want to feel in your work, before you reach the point where you’re miserable. Decision-making is as much about predicting how we’ll feel as it is about logic. Therefore, initiating changes believed to enhance our work life can be a proactive way to foster job satisfaction without resorting to drastic measures. 

When contemplating a career move, it’s essential to listen to both your head and your heart. Ignoring the intuitive signals or the emotional responses to potential decisions can lead to choices that might look right on paper, but feel wrong in practice. Remember, your gut feeling is a powerful indicator of what’s right for you, guiding you toward decisions that align with your personal and professional values. So, before you think about taking a big leap, explore the possibilities within your current situation that can bring you closer to the joy and fulfillment you seek. 

As we navigate our careers, it’s essential to keep in mind what truly matters to us, not just what others think is the next right move. It’s not just the accolades or the steady progression up the career ladder that defines our success, but the deeper, more personal victories that resonate with our core values and bring us genuine happiness. Embracing a broader definition of success, one that includes emotional well-being, personal growth, and the joy of doing work that feels meaningful, can lead to a richer and more satisfying life without having to trade off financial security.

This path isn’t always easy. It demands a good deal of soul-searching, the strength to step away from the familiar, and the bravery to pursue what truly makes us come alive. Yet, the rewards of such courage are immeasurable. By tuning into our feelings, recognizing what brings us energy and excitement, and daring to reshape our careers around those insights, we open the door to a world of possibilities where our professional lives enhance our personal happiness, rather than detract from it.

This journey of career transformation is both deeply personal and universally relevant. It underscores the importance of aligning our work with our innermost aspirations, encouraging us to live fully, not just efficiently. As we move forward, let’s carry with us the wisdom that the bravest thing we can do is listen to our hearts and allow them to guide our choices. In doing so, we not only enrich our lives, but also set a powerful example for others to follow. 

So, as you contemplate your next move, remember this: let your career be a journey, not just of accomplishments, but of discovering and nurturing what makes you come alive, for it’s in the pursuit of what genuinely fulfills us that we find success on our own terms.

And that’s it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Assessing Your Next Move at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and fifteen.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I’m on Instagram @cindyesliger and my email address is info@cindyesliger.com.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It’s my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what’s holding you back in your career, and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective. 

Until next week, I’m Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.